Bitch Face, I Can’t Get Enough Of It

Dillon Cheverere12 years ago

Something amazing happened during the Johnny Manziel hoopla over the weekend. If you missed it (you didn’t), Manziel was tossed from the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house at the University of Texas on Friday night. A beer was thrown in his direction, missing him, and the partygoers serenaded his exodus with jeers and a farewell “Get the fuck out!” The next day, Johnny showed up at another fraternity party in beautiful Austin, TX, this time it was the FIJI house for their annual Fiji Island party, which I can tell you from firsthand experience is a wild scene. It appears he was welcomed there.

This is around the time something interesting happened, and no, I’m not talking about Manziel’s brilliant troll job by way of a Tim Tebow jersey, which was admittedly very well played. You may have seen the below photo featured on many websites that covered the Manziel story. One of the boots-on-the-ground eyewitnesses that brought us visual confirmation of Manziel’s presence at the FIJI house, via Twitter, was this blonde filly chunking deuces in the floral dress. And when I saw her, I instantly fell in love with her. Bitch Face out of control. Love it. Can’t get enough of it.

Let’s clear something up before continuing. There may be a misconception regarding bitch face in some circles. Having bitch face doesn’t necessarily make someone a bitch, nor does it imply they have any bitchy tendencies. Of course, some girls with bitch face certainly do fall on the bitchy side of the attitude spectrum, but it’s not a rule. It simply means their face appears bitchy. That’s it. Per my scientist sources, there doesn’t seem to be a correlation between bitch face and one’s general demeanor. I’ve known some downright sweethearts with bitch face. On the contrary, I’ve also known some bitchy people with the faces of angels. There’s no standard application here; it truly is on a per-bitch-face basis.

Having bitch face doesn’t necessarily make someone a bitch, nor does it imply they have any bitchy tendencies.

Literally less than a minute after I grabbed the above screenshot from her Tweet, she made her Twitter account private, and because she did so, I’m choosing to omit her name out of respect, as well as the university she attends. I can’t keep her bitch face down, though. It’s too strong. The people need to see it. Regarding making her account private, she likely fell victim to random, conscience-less internet guys. You know she got freaked out by all the attention her post, and she, was getting. I think that’s understandable considering the pervy nature of your casual internet user. You throw an image of a cute blonde up on a computer screen, and you can bet every dollar in your wallet that someone’s leaving a comment about their desire to engage her in sexual relations, most likely in a very offensive manner. I’m thinking she was reading all kinds of perv material and decided to cut bait. It’s a shame really. The world needs to see more of your bitch face, Bitch Face. It’s a major league bitch face.

But why is bitch face such a uniquely desirable quality? Truthfully, I don’t know what it is about bitch face that I love so much. It’s like here’s this really attractive girl with a face that says, “There’s a chance I’ll cut you in your sleep,” and yet, I find her even more attractive because of it. It’s an innate predisposition that we, as men, have been given. Or Am I alone? No, of course I’m not. Perhaps it’s the “wildcard” effect, whereas you don’t know what you’re getting with a bitch face. It’s also assumed all bitch faces are handfuls in the sack, true or not.

Here are a few more notable bitch faces:

Finally, Asshole Sunglass Face on the left here stole the show: