Teacher Arrested For Being On Heroin In School, Tells Media “Roll Tide”

If you pass out face down on your desk in your high school art class and get arrested for being high on heroin, there’s really only one thing you can say for yourself: “Roll Tide.”

Two weeks ago, coffee wasn’t enough to get through long days of awful high school students, so 26-year-old Pittsburgh-area high school art teacher Christopher Chiappetta went the needle drugs route instead. After being found passed out at his desk in class, police say he confessed to arriving at school doped up on H.

Hate teaching high school art? Roll Tide.

Pass out at your desk in your own class? Roll Tide.

Get arrested for shooting up before school? Roll. Damn. Tide.

While Chiappetta, whose name is unfortunately not pronounced anything like Chia Pet, will probably only face probation and rehab for charges of drug possession, public drunkenness and disorderly conduct, his explanation to the media for his actions as he was being lead to a van in handcuffs will live through the ages.

After all, “Roll Tide” can pretty much mean anything and what better explanation does Chiappetta have at this point?

Watch the video on Deadspin.

[via Deadspin]

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    1. CapstoneRager

      ^^ I didn’t look at that link Fratsman. Is it a replay of the Bama-Tenn game?

      12 years ago at 10:05 am
    2. PilotFrat

      ^^ Jon M Fratsman, I think you need to put a “Your IQ will probably drop after reading” disclaimer for that link. Holy hell my brain is rotted.

      12 years ago at 11:59 am
  1. The_PA_Guy

    When a girl with a festering wound is all like “I need my fix, man. Wanna go do some heroine with me?” as you nod your head and hand her a drink and lead her back to your house to bang. TFM

    12 years ago at 12:49 pm
    1. FratEarlyandOften

      Not knowing the difference between “heroin” and “heroine”… TFM

      12 years ago at 2:50 pm
    2. The_PA_Guy

      Well while you’re thinking about that difference, I’ll just be over here getting my dick wet.

      12 years ago at 11:02 pm
  2. Salute My Shorts

    Your columns are now on an FBI watch list because you used “Shooting up” and “school” in the same sentence.

    12 years ago at 1:11 pm
  3. BellushiTFM

    Pretty good Sterling, but you need to go punch the intern square in the nuts for not posting fail Friday yet.

    12 years ago at 1:15 pm
    1. RogerSterlingJr

      Email that kid a chaser. The Intern wouldn’t know a sexy woman if one sat on his face.

      12 years ago at 1:20 pm
  4. poop on my chest

    HA this is not to0 far from where I went to high school. Not surprising it happened at Northgate

    12 years ago at 8:26 pm
    1. Were Higher Than You

      Did they not teach you that “O”s and zeros aren’t interchangeable?

      12 years ago at 8:26 pm
  5. EQK

    His next job interview will be something like this…
    “Have you ever misused illegal drugs?”
    “Yes, I once snorted heroin thinking it was cocaine.”

    12 years ago at 6:27 am