The Military Is Developing Iron Man Suits

According to CNN, head of US Special Operations Admiral William McRaven doesn’t want to lose another soldier in our fight against terrorists in the Middle East. That might seem a bit absurd, knowing how war goes, but McRaven has a plan, and Tony Stark would give it a huge thumbs up… then probably launch an incredibly powerful carpet bomb in celebration.

The project, abbreviated TALOS, (nice work on the cool acronym, Spec Ops command) would create a series of Tactical Assault Light Operator suits. These things, other than making terrorists piss their pants, would basically be the US military’s first shot at building powered suits of armor, which is a requirement for hitting the level of technology scientifically known as “really goddamn cool.” From the article:

Many of the technologies that could be incorporated into McRaven’s idea of an Iron Man suit already exist. “But they still exist separately. So they are taking them all and they are putting them together,” said former Navy SEAL Chris Heben.

Heben said if everything works out, TALOS will “take a group of guys that are extremely high functioning on the battlefield and make them completely unstoppable.”

I don’t know about the rest of you, but the idea that the US military is developing suits of armor that give you roughly 17x lift capacity, a nearly impervious shell against small arms fire and low-grade explosives, plus extreme mobility and endurance upgrades is enough to make me want to sign up just to get one, especially since the HUD would let me watch Netflix and check Twitter while stomping terrorists to death in the name of freedom. The idea is to get these puppies out on the battlefield next year. I’m going to assume everyone will surrender to us within the first 6 months of widespread deployment of these things, though that could be delayed since the initial prototypes don’t have boot rockets on the features list.

[via CNN]

Image via Digital Spy

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  1. The Prodigy TFM

    This country is so fucking awesome. I’m feeling really patriotic today and this is just fucking fantastic. Go America. Rant over.

    12 years ago at 10:00 am
  2. TrueSouthernFratstar

    So what’s the over-under that SEAL Team 6 uses these bad boys to kick Obama out of the White House?

    12 years ago at 10:05 am
  3. Whiskey_Ginger

    Meant to mention it in the article, but watch the video in the actual CNN article. They do a mock-up demo of what these things are supposed to be able to do. It basically turns you into a walking tank.

    12 years ago at 10:09 am
    1. OMFratRebel

      ^^^Agreed. They really wouldn’t need to use camouflage on these things, so just make it look like if freedom was a person. Call it the Uncle Sam model

      12 years ago at 4:46 pm
    2. FratillaTheHun

      What’s the point being discreet on this pups. You can walk on the battlefield and mow people down with an light machine gun in each hand and nobody can really do shit to stop you short of an airstrike.

      12 years ago at 5:14 pm
    1. Captbluewater

      Is vibranium a element that resonates at such a high frequency that it deflects and slows down any fast moving object?

      12 years ago at 11:28 am
  4. UnKappaFifth

    This is going to cost assloads of tax money for development alone. Operating and training costs will probably be fucking sky high too. I’m all for America kicking foreign ass but this is a waste of money. We have unmanned drones that blow shit up, why do we need anything else?

    12 years ago at 10:43 am
    1. Whiskey_the_third

      I can think of a hundred other government funded programs that are less useful than this. And we’re already paying for them

      12 years ago at 1:48 pm
    2. UnKappaFifth

      ^not going to argue with that. doesnt change the fact that its a waste of money

      12 years ago at 2:33 pm
    3. Fratty_Powers

      Would you attack America if you knew this is what you would have to deal with?

      12 years ago at 2:43 pm
  5. thesecondbasement

    Finally, some news to get excited about in this country, as opposed to wanting to decapitate a liberal every time I hear the phrase Obamacare. There’s hope for us yet, fellow patriots

    12 years ago at 10:47 am