Map Of The Lamest Party Schools In The Nation Will Make You Glad You Don’t Go There

The map is actually called the “The Tamest Party Schools In The Nation,” but let’s call it what it really is: the lamest. The only time you’d find me on one of these campuses would be if I stumbled upon it drunkenly, only to piss on the grass while shouting obscenities at the rent-a-cops. While we’re all loading up on kegs for the return to the fraternity houses and our favorite bars, these kids are actually buying books and probably a ton of pocket protectors. Take a look at the map for yourself.

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After going through the list, I can only name two schools: Wyoming and BYU. You would think that Wyoming would be a college where all they do is drink. Is there anything else to do there? I’ve literally lived in Texas all my life and never once have I heard of Southwestern Assemblies of God University. I honestly thought it was made up, like in “Accepted.” You learn something new every day, huh?

I can imagine Greek life at these schools is a lot like that fraternity that has the lame parties. During rush, these guys pitched their parties as the greatest ones on campus, but the photo and video evidence always proves they’re a bunch of sausage fests. Just as their party spiels didn’t help with recruiting new members, this map won’t do much good for colleges trying to bring in top-tier talent. So, cheers to all those who go to a school that isn’t on this list. As Robert Earl Keen says, “The road goes on forever, and the party never ends.”

[via E College Finder]

  1. Gentleman in Bauers

    Southeastern University in Florida teaches you how to be a pastor, so that may explain it here…

    10 years ago at 1:36 pm
  2. lca_94

    To be fair, some of these are Christian schools. You don’t see a lot of seminaries throwing sweet ragers.

    10 years ago at 1:36 pm
    1. BlutarskyTFM

      Easy there. You’re really pushing it referring to Liberty as a “school.”

      10 years ago at 5:27 pm
      1. Col_Reb_is_my_mascot

        Fuck Jerry Falwell and fuck Liberty “University.” I wish there was a hell for that rotten charlatan scum to burn in.

        10 years ago at 6:19 pm
      2. KM12291

        You sound extremely uneducated. We’ll all give you some time to get the stick out of your ass.

        10 years ago at 8:12 pm
      3. House of Tards

        A guy I play golf with regularly played on Liberty’s team in the 80’s. I can tell he’s a little radical but I really want to nail his daughter, who goes there now. He’s a pretty good guy tho.

        9 years ago at 12:32 pm
      4. House of Tards

        I am genuinely ashamed of this comment. Can you guys please delete it for me?

        8 years ago at 10:28 pm
    2. Ccobb

      Exactly. Most of the schools on here, which are private Christian Universities, should not even be on the list. It makes me sick, because even though I like to drink, some conservative Christian churches don’t believe in the practice. As an AR Harding University Alumni this year, I can tell you straight up that life on campus was never lame. We’re extremely well-rounded and ambitious compared to the men stumbling around pissing in the grass and shouting obscenities. Where do you think that will get you? A lifetime of blurry, browned-out memories, and STD (or quite a few), and probably a DUI knowing how idiotic you frat guys can be.

      10 years ago at 5:17 pm
      1. House of Tards

        I think we’re all well-rounded compared to someone like that, champ. Think before you speak.

        9 years ago at 12:33 pm
    3. thatstruegenttoyou

      Actually, you’d be kinda surprised how ballsy seminarians and priests are. I know a couple of priests who could drink/party you under the fucking table.

      10 years ago at 12:48 am
    1. John_W_Fratweiser

      Was wondering about this as well. Basically a college for people who have full time jobs.

      10 years ago at 2:39 pm
    2. BoddaGettaBoy

      Athens state-where to go to become “that teacher that we never learned anything from, but he always asked to bum off my can of dip”

      10 years ago at 4:01 pm
  3. pgdaddy

    Athens State in Alabama is a dump. Its a 2 year “senior college”. You go there after you get an associates. Commuter school and located in a disgusting town.

    10 years ago at 1:41 pm
    1. BoddaGettaBoy

      school is a joke, its just the 2 years to go finish a teaching degree. But the city isn’t that bad. better than any other town around the area smaller than madison

      10 years ago at 4:03 pm
  4. Who Dat Frat

    Mississippi College doesn’t have greek life, they have “tribes” and they are just as stupid/pathetic as one would think…

    10 years ago at 1:47 pm
    1. rollingrover

      We have unofficial fraternities off campus, and they party pretty hard. Hell, the students aren’t the only ones that party either. In the 90’s, MC made headlines when the president spend $1.7 of the school’s donations on prostitutes and drugs. TFM

      8 years ago at 10:46 am