Marshawn Lynch Parks His Lamborghini In The Most Beast Mode Way Possible
I hate it when people get near my PT Cruiser. It’s like they have no regard for a man’s property. The teenagers are the worst. They’re always so impressed with my car that they give me complimentary detailing services, like new spray paint paint jobs, key scratchings, and taillight smashings. Those are the worst, because then I have to tip them. It’s like a homeless window washer–they guilt me into it. At least somebody appreciates the PT Cruise, though. My mom hates it. She said I’d “never get laid with this piece of garbage.” She’s right so far, but I know I’ll pull through and eventually prove her wrong.
It is because of my own experiences that I understand and respect Marshawn Lynch’s method of using velvet ropes to section off his car when it’s parked on the street. I assume he keeps the velvet ropes in his car and takes them out whenever he parks.
If I’m getting this much unwanted attention with a PT Cruiser, I don’t even want to know how much his Lambo receives.
[via Instagram]
I can always tell when the DeVry Guy is writing because it contains a self-depreciating comment somewhere in the first few paragraphs.
10 years ago at 12:20 pmAnd it also says The Devry Guy under the title
10 years ago at 12:32 pm“Beast mode”
10 years ago at 1:04 pm“Insert unoriginal comment”
10 years ago at 2:43 pmI was hoping for a video of some cool drifting into the parking space or something, but I guess this is pretty okay too
10 years ago at 1:42 pmAssuming his driving skills haven’t changed
10 years ago at 1:45 pmI would have just hired armed guards but that’s just me.
10 years ago at 2:24 pmI’m surprised he know how to operate a car..
10 years ago at 2:55 pmAre you Asian by any chance?
10 years ago at 1:10 amHaha, his last name is Lynch
10 years ago at 2:57 pmThat’s cool, but it’s not “Beast Mode”
10 years ago at 5:51 pmDorn ropes off his windowless van
10 years ago at 7:39 pm