Rush Week: Inside The Minds Of Executive Board
Rush week is a week filled with booze and boobs, where every house on campus pulls out all the stops to acquire the best pledge class. In short, rush week typically blows every rushee’s mind. However, there are always members who do not wholeheartedly love rush week. Some of them are the brothers on their respective executive boards. Here is what each member of E-board thinks about rush week.
Chapter President: “Am I going to be arrested and expelled this week?”
I will admit that I have absolutely no desire to be the president of my fraternity. The amount of risk associated with that position is staggering. If anything happens to the fraternity, the president’s ass is on the line. During rush week, the president just counts down the days until it’s over–but then pledgeship starts, so I guess he still has to keep worrying. This guy has to be on his A-game. He must make sure all the parties run smoothly and make sure every E-board member preforms his task correctly. This poor guy probably stays awake all night just imagining every bad scenario, which, unfortunately, has a better chance of happening than he would want.
Vice President: “Do I need to come to meetings?”
Compared to the president, the vice president is chillin’. He is only on E-board to put his position on his résumé. Sure, he helps out the president, but ultimately, like the vice president of the U.S., the fraternity vice president is pretty much just along for the ride.
Treasurer: “This party costs how much?”
Being in charge of a fraternity’s budget is no walk in the park, because the fraternity will spend more money than planned. The treasurer is supposed to be the voice of financial responsibility. However, when a handful of brothers come back from an alcohol run with enough booze to fill a pool, the treasurer doesn’t want to be the bad guy who tells them to return the alcohol, so he pays for it. He will try to keep this week within budget, but he has his work cut out for him. He will absolutely contact the advisers for more money.
Social Chair: “How many strippers can we order?”
The social chair loves rush week. From planning parties to ordering strippers, this is why you go to college. In his mind, he envisions a party that will go down in collegiate history. This guy might even think a movie will be made about his parties. To him, the sky’s the limit–as well as an unlimited budget. He can’t wait to order some ratchet strippers to give the rushees a nice pants tent. His only worry is that his party will suck and everyone in the fraternity will put all the blame on him.
Rush Captain: “Only, like, a fourth of these kids are cool.”
As rush captain, it is your job to recruit the best and weed out the weak. As Jimmy Tatro would say, “I don’t want any NF GDI pussy creep fucks!” At first, the rush captains are pumped. Then, as time goes on after meeting 100 damn kids and asking the same set of questions over and over, they realize how many bids they won’t give. Suddenly, being a rush captain kind of sucks. From hearing stories about recent high school grads who bullshit their craziest night in high school to listening to alumni tell you their son will be rushing, the rush team gets very agitated. They know, however, the future of the fraternity rests with them and they buckle down to create what will be, after pledgeship, a decent pledge class.
Pledge Trainer: “Enjoy this week–the rest of the semester is going to be a living nightmare.”
No explanation necessary.
Despite all the conflicting views about rush week, one thing is certain–fraternity rush is infinitely better than sorority rush.
just reading this makes me hate the potential pledges even more
10 years ago at 10:14 amShitty name, shitty bio, shitty article
10 years ago at 10:14 amI think I’d rather read the nutrition facts on a granola bar than another article by you.
10 years ago at 10:21 amGetting a stripper who can shoot water out of vagina. TFM. The Rushee who drinks it. No Bid.
10 years ago at 10:29 amWhat the fuck did I just read?
10 years ago at 10:42 amI think they can all shoot water from their vaginas, more or less
10 years ago at 11:07 amBlockparty’s bio is just the worst.
10 years ago at 10:35 amDefinition of try-hard. We’re supposed to rip these guys apart, not give them a job writing for TFM.
10 years ago at 3:48 pmWho the fuck calls their rush chair rush captain?
10 years ago at 10:46 amHouse manager: “Fuck me, I hate everything.”
10 years ago at 10:56 amDo you even edit this shit? Or do you just smash your stupid face into the keyboard, and hope for the best?
10 years ago at 11:08 amThe worst part of the bio is that there is no intentional sarcasm, he is just trying very, very hard
10 years ago at 11:23 amWere you even in a fraternity?
10 years ago at 11:59 am