56 Names You Could Give Your Package
If you haven’t named your penis, I’m not sure what’s wrong with you. Maybe you’re just an uncreative person who hates fun. Maybe you haven’t quite found that perfect name. Maybe you’re going back and forth because you’re not sure if you want to name just your schlong, or if you want an encompassing nickname for the whole package. Either way, here are a few ideas to help get you rolling.
- Ricky Wiggle and the Shootaround Boys
- Doctor Grouchsteel
- Rainbow Thunderclap III
- Billy Rope-a-Dope
- Old Hickory
- Peter Dinklage
- Sir Percival Bratwurst
- Meat McGreet
- Jordan and the Bulls
- Walter Rodstein
- The Nut Butler
- Fat Man and the Little Boys
- Dong Juan
- The Joyota Slamry
- Brad
- Jabba the Uncutt
- Mr. Knock-Knock
- Ken Stiffy, Jr.
- The Transcuntinental Railrod
- Urethra Franklin
- Hank Geyserton
- The Sperm Worm
- Santa’s Sleigh
- Chuck Boneroo
- Boompop
- His Holiness, Pipe Sextus
- Barry Beefstick
- The Honey Ham Zone
- Weenie the Pooh
- The Eye Dotter
- Mayor McSpeez
- Jizzly Bear
- Charlie Watkins and the Juicemen
- Professor SeXavior
- Marky Mark and the Spunky Bunch
- The Bone Phone
- Jimmy Spankwhistle
- Spewbacca
- DJ Jizzy Jeff and the Fresh Princes
- Space Shuttle Columbia
- The Vagina Rack
- Crosby, Stills, and Nash (I guess that makes Neil Young the asshole.)
- The Girthy Five-Layer Burrito
- Rammstein
- The Jive Turkey
- Pepé the Crying Clown
- The Chief of Staff
- Baron von Schlongerwiess
- Harry and the Hendersons
- Major Stiffy
- Slamson
- Spank Aaron
- The Hamburgler
- Sergeant Firestorm
- Roger Skinpole
- Trouser Bowser
57. Yogurt Slinger
10 years ago at 10:18 amCommander in Beef
10 years ago at 10:58 am*purple headed yogurt slinger
10 years ago at 11:34 amThe Mountain that Rides
10 years ago at 10:24 am58. Gut shuffler
10 years ago at 10:25 amCome on, Knox, I think “Little Man and the Fat Boys” is more frat than “Fat Man and the Little Boys.”
10 years ago at 10:28 amI’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be an allusion to the atomic bombs we dropped on Japan. Because your dick is massive and leaves a trail of wreckage in its wake.
10 years ago at 10:45 amYeah, I got it. I was referring to the fact that, to be totally TFTC, you have to have a small frock.
10 years ago at 11:00 amTry less.
10 years ago at 12:26 pmThe disappointer
10 years ago at 10:28 amCome on, this was just low-hanging fruit.
10 years ago at 12:05 pmLow Hanging Fruit is actually a solid name for a package too, nice work
10 years ago at 12:13 pm“Something was done here…”
10 years ago at 12:47 pmWork smarter, not harder
10 years ago at 12:43 pmReal solid reporting. Bet you worked real hard on this groundbreaking piece of comedic journalism genius.
10 years ago at 10:30 amWhew, good thing you’re here to call him out! He almost got away with it!
10 years ago at 12:05 amButch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids
10 years ago at 10:30 amThe Hambone
10 years ago at 10:31 am57. Megan’s Law-Breaker
10 years ago at 10:35 am57. Russel the Love Muscle
10 years ago at 10:37 amEvery guy gets a kick out of naming his rod. But whatever name it’s given, it needs to be good & healthy. Using a first rate penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) can address issues such as persistent odor, dry/flaky skin, loss of sensation, etc.
9 years ago at 8:00 am