Where Are All The Nudes From “The Snappening”? A Horny Guy Reports

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I reported last week that “The Snappening” was imminent. Snapchat image-saving app Snapsave was allegedly breached by a hacker who claimed to have 200,000 explicit Snaps in his possession. He warned, anonymously from a 4chan message board, that they’d be released on Sunday, October 12. That was yesterday. So where the hell are all the motherfucking nudes?

Lucky for us, at least one guy was on top of the situation, and I mean ON TOP of it. A dutiful internet sleuth, whose name I will leave omitted, took it upon himself to conduct an in-depth investigative report, and he unsolicitedly delivered his findings straight to my inbox. So, I’m sharing it with all of you.

I have great news for all you Snapchat nude distributors out there: “The Snappening” seems to have been an elaborate hoax. The email I received is below.

Hey Dorn,

I thought you might be interested in an update on the Snappening, specifically that everybody is safe. The download in question was on piratebay and had 12.6 GB of pictures and videos, it looked quite legit. Once looking through it, the lack of nudity was immediately obvious. Almost all of the pictures are of fully clothed people. There are pictures which are screenshots of instagrams, pictures that are definitely not candid of kids playing soccer, along with a few child pornography images thrown in. Many of the photos have text thrown over them to look like they were taken in snapchat, but this looks fake. I’ll attach a few pictures so you can get the idea. There are also a fuckton of repeated photos. After looking through the first 2 or 3 thousand pictures, only 2 or 3 of them might actually be legitimate snapchat photos, and they aren’t event nude. So this 100,000 nude photos thing is a bust.

Long story short, don’t worry about your dick pics. I’m just deleting the whole file, it’s not worth it.

The videos, those look more legit though.

This guy looked through two or three THOUSAND images of what he expected to be nude photographs. And he did it for us. Below is one of the images he attached (we blurred the face). The text across the image does look phony, doesn’t it?

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I read somewhere that most of Snapchat’s users are minors, so this news is good on several levels. The internet is a better place today than it was last Friday. Big ups to one of our horny readers for getting to the bottom of the situation. You can’t pervy inside journalism like this anywhere else, guys. You probably can, actually. Whatever.

  1. MastersTFM

    Dorn why did you cut out the part where the “Horny Guy” explained where all the nudes of the underage boys were.

    11 years ago at 3:04 pm
      1. MastersTFM

        I rarely believe anything on Wikipedia, but gee Rodge this is pretty condemning.

        11 years ago at 3:18 pm
      2. Uncle Sam hates GDIs

        The best part of this whole “dorn like boys” thing is that you will NEVER be able to find a different job after TFM. Hell even a precursory browse for your name brings up horrible things

        11 years ago at 4:08 pm
    1. HarvardGuy

      Hey Fratty Light,
      “It’s amazing what a group can accomplish when no one cares who gets the credit” -President Ronald Reagan

      11 years ago at 3:51 pm
      1. HarvardGuy

        MastersTFM,
        I am going to let this slide, but if you make one more Sratty bitch comment, I am going to haze your balls off.

        11 years ago at 5:01 pm
      2. DarrensDad

        There’s also a 100% chance he was sodomized by his uncle and then butt-fucked by a horse for good measure.

        11 years ago at 4:06 pm
      3. HarvardGuy

        I’ll say it again- why would TFM want to ball me when I gave a gambling addiction to Draft Kings?

        11 years ago at 4:18 pm
      4. HarvardGuy

        FrattyLight, thanks for the fanduel tip. You are officially off of blast.
        But DeeDee needs a bit more toughening up, he is sensitive as fuck.
        And I’ll let that comment from MasterTFM slide, but if he make another one of his Sratty comments, I am going to haze his balls off.
        RisingStar of TX, you Sir have a good day. I have no quarrel with you.

        11 years ago at 5:00 pm
    2. Jizzmopper

      ten ups makes sense…thats about where id put the population of the forums right now

      11 years ago at 4:07 pm
      1. DarrensDad

        We’re TFM’s equivalent of the drunk fifth years you try to keep away from parents during Homecoming.

        11 years ago at 4:20 pm
      2. Frattylight_94

        In that awkward state of limbo where your pledge brothers have graduated and are grown ups, therefore don’t associate with you that much, and the pledge classes behind you all rightly think you are an asshole for several illegal, scandalous incidents.

        11 years ago at 4:29 pm
  2. DarrensDad

    Rodge, it must be hard to keep writing articles when you know every one will have pedophile comments underneath. For fuck’s sake, though, are you trying to give the trolls ammo by talking about child porn numberous times in an article?

    11 years ago at 3:11 pm
  3. RCJH KU

    And to think I faked Ebola symptoms just to give me time to sort through all 100k nudes until I found Hot Peice. Fuck your shitty no-credability-having reporting, Dorn.

    11 years ago at 3:16 pm
  4. Ralph

    Anyone else been receiving less snapchats of tits since this came out? I’m willing to bet that this stupid son of a bitch is either full gay or a feminist.

    11 years ago at 3:46 pm
      1. MastersTFM

        I like what you did there with “Confraction” (Frat Contraction) you changed up the Frorder (Frat Order) to make it work.

        11 years ago at 5:00 pm