Shia LaBeouf’s Broadway Arrest Story Is 7 Minutes Of Awesome

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On Monday, Shia LaBeouf appeared as a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” before of the release of “Fury,” a WWII-centric epic in which he costars with Brad Pitt. Kimmel, usually one to prod his guests for content a little more racy than his competing “Tonight Show” hosts, didn’t disappoint when he questioned LaBeouf about a recent arrest in New York City after he was kicked out of a Broadway showing of “Cabaret.”

LaBeouf’s narration of the events that led to his lock-up turned out to be seven straight minutes of awesome, entertaining, hilarious storytelling. Not to spoil it, but it involves a shitload of whiskey, the World Cup, a homeless man, feeding 60-year-old women fruit, Allen Iverson, and, of course, even more whiskey.

“So I’m like, ‘You gotta do something. You gotta do something, man. You’re gonna die in here.’ So I turn into Tupac and now I’m ripping my shirt off and doing push-ups like, ‘Don’t mess with me dawg.’ And the guy’s like, ‘What are you in here for?’ And I’m like, ‘Cabaret,’”

Incredible.

It’s safe to say I can only hope to run into this guy on the streets of New York one day, and this story has made my respect grow for him about 100-fold. He’s really come a long way since his “Transformers” days. It would be an honor to buy him a shot of Glenlivet sometime, or in a more likely case, like, 10.

  1. YourMomMyTailgate

    Assuming the two older women you’re hitting on want the same drink as you. RFM.

    11 years ago at 1:08 pm
  2. Sleazy Asshole

    That is such a good story. I really can’t pick one part that I liked the best. If you were to hold a gun to my head, I couldn’t pick. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved his story on to. There probably won’t be much traffic, because I forwarded the police his story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn’t want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible detail that he embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the beard, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard his cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you Shia.

    11 years ago at 1:26 pm
  3. LarDaddy

    Word on Broadway is Dorn has now learned the Hercules’ cheek grab. Look out parents and thanks for that Shia

    11 years ago at 1:27 pm
    1. DonkeyKong

      Forgetting the name of the country you are rooting for because it isnt America. TFM.

      11 years ago at 7:58 am