The 25 Hottest Girl Names (And What They Say About Each Girl)
What’s in a name? Well, more than you’d think. There are some girl names that automatically put the image in your head that a girl is hot, even if you’ve never met her. These “hot girl names” came to be either by a bunch of hot girls happening to have the same name, or they are just names that “sound” like they would belong to hot girls. Now, don’t get all butthurt if the name of a hot girl you know isn’t on here–obviously, there are exceptions. Hell, somewhere on this Earth, I guarantee there is a hot girl named Bertha. However, these are the 25 most common hot girl names and what each name says about the girl.
1. Laura: I’ve never met a Laura who wasn’t hot. Whether she’s a blonde or a brunette, she has pretty eyes, keeps in shape, and is basically the standard by which every hot girl is judged.
2. Anne: Anne, Anna, or any variation of this name just screams suppressed Irish Catholic girl. She probably went to Sunday school and was taught that unmarried penises are toxic. Aside from being physically attractive, she also has a sex drive so hot, it’ll burn your pubes clear off.
3. Ashley (or various spellings of Ashley): Ashleys are usually attractive blondes, and they are almost always trouble. If you want an ugly breakup or a soul-and-wallet stealing succubus, date an Ashley. She’s bad people.
4. Jennifer or Jenna: Jennifers and Jennas are usually brunettes and are girlfriend pretty. They’re also anal retentively organized, but, ironically, are not anal in any other way.
5. Allie or Ally (not Allison or Alyson): Allison and Allyson are reserved and refined. Allie and Ally are fun, free-spirited, and likely to make out with you at the bar, but they’ll get reeled in by the mother hens before last call.
6. Taylor: Most of the Taylors I’ve known are girlfriend pretty, quiet, and very nice. If you want to end up in Taylor’s bedroom, you’ll have to date her. She’s normally not the one-night stand type.
7. Kate, Katie, Katelyn, etc.: There are so many girls with a variation of this name that I could not in good conscience leave out this name. They vary in personality, type of attractiveness, and willingness to ditch their panties, but regardless, the majority of them are likely to make your jaw drop.
8. Caroline: Most Carolines are either blonde or have light brown hair. They’re generally, with exception, concentrated south of the Mason-Dixon line and their looks are only rivaled by their expensive tastes.
9. Brooke: Brookes are almost always hot dirty blondes. A Brooke is usually a few shots shy of giving you an OTPHJ–she’s not a slut by any means, and if she likes you, you’re about to be one lucky bastard.
10. Paige: Paige is always girlfriend pretty and expects herself to be treated like girlfriend material. In relative terms, not many guys can call themselves Eskimo brothers because of a Paige.
11. Amanda: She’s your run-of-the-mill pretty girl. What separates her is her personality, as she rarely acts as hot as she looks.
12. Lindsay: Lindsay is hot, but she’s also about as common of a white girl as you are going to get. No, I’m not using the term basic, ladies. Woo her with some Taylor Swift, pizza, and white zinfandel.
13. Heather: Nerdy hot. Is that a thing? I think that’s a thing. Yeah, she’s nerdy hot.
14. Amy: She’s pretty and shy, usually a brunette, and she’s impossible to engage in conversation. We’re talking a conversational Everest here. Turn down for Amy.
15. Madison or Maddie: She’s not so much hot as she is cute. Not that that’s a bad thing–all she has to do is flash a smile and you have instant competition.
16. Kristen: She’s brunette, distant, and acts like a friend of a friend. She snagged a boyfriend as quickly as she could–which wasn’t too hard because she’s hot–so she could get it out of the way and move on to other things she’s interested in.
17. Lauren: Not as hot as a Laura, but she’s up there; 60/40 chance she’s blonde and is almost as common of a white girl as Lindsay.
18. Kelly: Fun-loving and wild, Kelly has made more than her share of mistakes. Beware of a potential 12-stepper.
19. Stephanie: Girlfriend hot, educated, studious, but boring.
20. Alexis/Lexi: She loves being called Sexy Lexi, and for good reason. She’s very flirtatious, loves being checked out, and loves attention more than most girls. Be the guy who doesn’t give her the attention she craves and she’s yours.
21. Sloane: Sloane Peterson set the mold and it seems that every Sloane since has fit it. Guaranteed smokeshow, and fun in an awkward sort of way.
22. Jordan: Blonde and sexy, you can’t explain what’s so hot about her. She has subtle hotness rather than in-your-face hot like Margot Robbie.
23. Natalie: High school crush pretty, Natalie brings back the nostalgia of puberty, except, you know, now she’s legal.
24. Leigh: Leigh is cute, sweet, quiet, and shy. If you’re south of the Mason-Dixon line, she pulls off the whole innocent thing like a pro.
25. Megan, Megyn, Meghan, etc.: “Family Guy” gave Megan a bad name. She’s usually a pretty blonde girl with a thinly veiled wild side that shows itself after a couple margaritas..
Missed the number one hot name. Tatiana. Typically foreign and always hot.
10 years ago at 3:07 pmShiva Comini Shova Kanda Kram!!!
10 years ago at 3:24 pmShivakamini Somakondarkram. Don’t be an idiot.
10 years ago at 4:07 pmYou must be a hit at parties
10 years ago at 4:15 pmIt’s actually Somakandarkram with an “a”. Try again next time, bud.
10 years ago at 7:51 pmAnne Frank: the original sex symbol
10 years ago at 3:08 pmI mean, she did have men looking for her everywhere.
10 years ago at 3:26 pmAnne: Anne, Anna, or any variation of this name just screams suppressed
10 years ago at 3:30 pmIrish CatholicJewish girl.The sexiest name in the USA is LENA !!!!!
10 years ago at 3:41 pmNo the fuck it’s not
10 years ago at 3:46 pmYou know you want me Brian!!!!!!
10 years ago at 3:56 pmWhen the fuck will you be gone?
10 years ago at 11:26 pmI just threw up a little bit.
10 years ago at 2:25 amBlackball Lena Dunham TfeministM
10 years ago at 9:34 amCan we blackball this cunt already.
10 years ago at 9:23 pmI bet her pussy smells like stale Cheez-Its.
9 years ago at 1:34 pmmotion to blackball
10 years ago at 3:52 pmIt was motioned and seconded back in the article concerning the UVA Phi Psi fiasco. All those in favor?
10 years ago at 4:02 pmAyee, I believe it passes.
10 years ago at 4:07 pmMotion to accept by acclamation.
10 years ago at 4:10 pmShe does know when to keep her mouth shut.
10 years ago at 6:51 amPaige… Woof
10 years ago at 3:09 pmI’d have to disagree with about 35% of these. About every Laura that I know is below average
10 years ago at 3:11 pmLauren ‘ s are hotter than Laura’s. Laura’s are crazy.
10 years ago at 6:14 pmHer whats?
10 years ago at 11:14 pmI’ve never met a Sloane that was hot.
10 years ago at 3:12 pmYou have clearly never watched Entourage
10 years ago at 3:19 pmAre you kidding? I’ve never met an ugly one.
10 years ago at 2:39 pmEvery Taylor I know is only into black guys/athletes
10 years ago at 3:16 pmMade an account just to so I could comment on how stupid this article is.
10 years ago at 3:17 pmShouldn’t you be yelling at someone?
10 years ago at 3:31 pm…and Gordon Ramsay was the first thing that came to mind?
10 years ago at 4:01 pmYou forgot Bree or Brie, usually the quite blonde or redhead that is wife material and a freak in the bedroom.
10 years ago at 3:19 pmOr cheese
10 years ago at 4:55 pm2 of the hottest chicks I know are Brittany
10 years ago at 3:20 pmWhat about Mercedes, Misty, Bambi, Candi, Destiny, etc.?
10 years ago at 3:24 pmGotta love strippers.
10 years ago at 3:35 pmHow about anything ending in a “i”
10 years ago at 5:57 pmAny girl with a name ending with an “i” just screams daddy issues.
10 years ago at 8:33 amMercedes is a black chick name. Token black girl I guess..
10 years ago at 9:07 pmThe luscious Bobbi Dillon, anyone?
10 years ago at 6:50 amShadynasty!
10 years ago at 5:51 pm