California Man Posts Hilarious Craigslist Ad, Wants $2,000 For The Tent Where He Lost His Virginity
A Los Angeles man posted an ad on Craigslist asking for $2,000 for a two-person tent where he boned a girl for the first time.
The ad, which must be read in full because it’s hilarious, says the tent is probably worth around $3, but because of its historical nature (he naked-humped a girl in it), he’s up-charging $1,997 and writing the rest off to history.
If you buy it, PLEASE don’t tell his parents. His big, scary dad might want it back and then you’ll be out two grand, because he isn’t giving you a refund. Also, he’s 32 years old.
From Craigslist:
This is the tent I lost my virginity in and I don’t need it anymore. It’s an old tent and there was some sex in it once (had by me), but it still works as a tent, and you can sleep in it or have sex in it more times if you want. It has all the original bags and poles and some rope. The tent’s value is probably like $1.50 or $2.50 but I am charging $2000 because of the history (I had sex in it).
It’s a nice tent and it was top of the line 20 years ago when my parents bought it. I stole it from them when I was 16 to have sex in it and I never gave it back.
If you buy the tent, please don’t tell my parents, because they still don’t know it was me who took it and if they know it’s around they’ll probably want it back. And then you won’t have a tent OR $2000 dollars because I won’t give you the money back for any reason and my dad is really big and he still scares me even though I’m 32 now so I don’t think you’ll get to keep the tent if they find out.
I didn’t only use it for sex, I used it for camping two or three times at Joshua Tree and it kept the rain out. I slept in it with a girl (sex) and also with a couple guys (camping) and we also put all our stuff in there, including suitcases, laundry, cds and fire stuff, so it’s pretty big inside!
The tent is in the garbage at the Greyhound Station in downtown Los Angeles. If you want it, it’s in the garbage there, and you just have to reach in and take and leave 2000 dollars under the garbage. OR email me I guess and I’ll get it for you.
He also added some photos:
Don’t bother trying to negotiate the price, because I’ve already agreed to pay the $2,000 in full (using TFM dues) and I will be donating the tent to the Smithsonian.
Trolling Craigslist still remains the website’s best feature..
[via Craigslist]
Don’t waste my finals week procrastination time again, dickwad.
11 years ago at 3:39 pm…….
11 years ago at 3:39 pm#PleaseFireHelmetStickers
11 years ago at 3:45 pmIf that doesn’t work then #PleaseFireSteveHolt either name works it’s still the same terrible writer.
11 years ago at 4:35 pmI see Steve Holt is getting rid of the tent he lost his virginity in over the weekend.
11 years ago at 7:22 pmI don’t this is him. You have to have sex to lose your virginity.
11 years ago at 9:53 pmIt was a nice try.
11 years ago at 10:57 pm#FireHelmetStickers2014
11 years ago at 3:46 pmOkay, I take back what I said in the “Horny Goat Weed” article.
11 years ago at 3:58 pmHelmet Stickers is like the legacy that gets a bid even though he is weird. Everyone just puts their head down and cringes when he talks.
11 years ago at 4:12 pmSherman Schrader was based off of Helmet Stickers
11 years ago at 6:40 pm“then you’ll be out two grand, because he isn’t giving you a refund”
11 years ago at 4:28 pmBut isn’t he paying you? #FireHelmetStickers
Helmet stickers let that granola eating liberal ass fuck him just to split the profits #FireHelmetStickers2014
11 years ago at 4:28 pmI really need to start looking at the author of articles before I open them
11 years ago at 5:17 pmHe pitched the tent, then pitched a tent.
11 years ago at 5:33 pm