Check Out This Lovely Floridian Couple That Got “Locked” In An Unlocked Closet For Two Days
11 years ago

Screen Shot 2015-01-02 at 3.13.10 PM

There’s never a dull moment in Florida. Whenever some idiotic story like this breaks, nine times out of ten, it goes down in the sunshine state. Football and crackheads — that’s what Florida does.

From The Orlando Sentinal:

John Arwood, 31, and Amber Campbell, 25, claimed they were chased into the closet on Sunday, Daytona Beach police said. After two days in a Marine and Environmental Science Center janitor’s closet, where police found human feces and copper scouring pads sometimes used to smoke crack, Arwood called 911 from his cell phone. Officers did not find drugs in the closet.

Arwood and Campbell were charged with trespassing. Campbell was also charged with violating her probation, which she was given after resisting arrest in 2013.

Nothing says “quiet, romantic getaway in Daytona Beach” quite like an unholy amount of crack use in a condensed janitor’s closet. John really pulled out all the stops for Amber. It must have been their anniversary or something.

I love the play of not calling for help until day two, or better yet, when the drug well runs dry. Obviously, when you’re paranoid about being locked in a closet, the best course of action is to smoke more rock.

I’m not entirely sure what Amber is going for with the neck tat. Does the money sign hold a significant meaning in her life? Does her throat help pay the bills? Girl, what that throat do?

Also, you just know your relationship has completely lost all the magic when you start painting the town brown in front of your significant other like it ain’t no thing. Honestly, these two need couple counseling more than rehab.

[via The Orlando Sentinal]

  3. TFM_Ag

    You finally get Fail Friday posted and think you can just post whatever the hell you want after that

    11 years ago at 4:49 pm
  5. USAANTFW

    Call me crazy, but I think reaching the point in a relationship where you can straight up drop logs in front of each other, is the new American dream

    11 years ago at 5:02 pm
    3. FrattyTrappings

      Instead of what other thing you are contextually referencing? Crack IS coke, just the freed molecule instead of the product being in a salt (which is what soft powder is, cocaine salt.)

      11 years ago at 8:20 pm
      1. hottytoddy1

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but a crack habit is bad versus a few snorts of coke here and there. That’s only what I meant.

        11 years ago at 8:31 pm
      2. FrattyTrappings

        Depends on where you’re getting you’re crack vs powder. SWIM knows people that sell both; generally speaking powder is higher quality, but there are poor people who want powder at $40/g who buy a 10/90 cut, and there is a niche market for 75/25 rock among the rich. It’s all who you know and how much you can pay.

        11 years ago at 6:40 pm
      2. Denzel FRATington

        Go clean the yard, pledge. I’ve been blackballing folks on this site before you even knew what TFM was. Joining in 2013: fratty?

        11 years ago at 9:29 am