College Student Enters Wrong Classroom, Pulls Out Dick, Fights Security, Was Most Likely High As Absolute Fuck
11 years ago

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Nice tip right here from Clarkson University student Matt:

Dorn,

The link below is the news story of what happened at my university yesterday. Clarkson U is in upstate NY right near the Canadian border in a little town called Potsdam.

There’s a ton of snow on the ground, it hasn’t been above 10 degrees in 3 weeks and this place sucks. Enough to drive some kids to the brink of stripping naked and waving their male member around a lecture hall until being body slammed to the ground by campus security. There has been rumors that he was on acid or bath salts. Your cup of tea.

Where did I go wrong in life that news of some dude getting lit on bath salts and pulling out his crank in a college lecture hall before fighting security became my “cup of tea”? I’m not mad at you though, Matt. These stories are in my wheelhouse, and I accept that.

From WWNYTV:

The unidentified male student entered a lecture hall at Clarkson University’s Science Center and was reported to be acting irrational and disorderly during a math professor’s presentation.

It was then that the student, who was not enrolled in the class, stripped naked for a short time before putting his pants back on, Potsdam police said.

“He entered the classroom, disrobed and seated himself in the classroom. He was refusing to leave the area,” said Lieutenant Mark Murray of the Potsdam Police Department.

According to police, the 20 year old student, shown above in a photograph posted on the social media website Imgur, was hollering “Lucifer” at times during the Monday afternoon incident and appeared to be in “an altered mental state.”

He entered the classroom, disrobed and seated himself in the classroom.

This is my favorite part. It’s as if, amidst his altered, hallucinogenic state, he experienced a brief moment of clarity and became a student again. He was like, damn, how did get in this classroom? I know this isn’t the class I’m supposed to be in, and I realize I’m high as a kite and my dick is out, but I might as well get some learning in while I’m here. I’ll just take this empty seat.

Go to class, kids, but don’t rip bath salts (how are bath salts even ingested?) before you go. You might end up on the news.

[via WWNYTV]

Image via Imgur

  3. OneTrueGentleman

    “was reported to be acting irrational.” Did they really make a fucking math joke about this or am I losing my shit?

    11 years ago at 5:31 pm
  4. DasCrow

    Dude didn’t just walk in and strip then sit down. He stripped, pissed all over the place and danced a little. Then the professor said, “You should put your clothes back on or you’ll get frostbite.” And continued the lecture.

    11 years ago at 5:44 pm
    1. Dick_Nixon

      Not sure if this was referencing something or not. Either way, I don’t think anyone got it.

      11 years ago at 6:25 pm
      1. BTbro1957

        No he actually actually pissed all over and the professor wasn’t even phased and continued class

        11 years ago at 6:53 pm
      2. MyHammerWillHurtYou

        In the whole picture you can see the professor continue teaching and students still taking notes. Welcome to Clarkson.

        11 years ago at 8:49 pm
  6. Dorn_FromMajorLeague

    “Where did I go wrong in life that news of some dude getting lit on bath salts and pulling out his crank in a college lecture hall before fighting security became my “cup of tea”? I’m not mad at you though, Matt. These stories are in my wheelhouse, and I accept that.”
    Dorn, you are not the first internet blogger to question his destiny.

    11 years ago at 5:45 pm
    1. ShmeepStar

      You should have copied and pasted / quoted more of the article, because I/we didn’t already read it the first time through.

      11 years ago at 10:51 pm