Hammered Underage Kid Accidentally Breaks Into Home Of Mayor Cracking Down On Underage Drinking
We’ve all been there. You go a little too hard in the paint, which results in you stumbling around going through the motions with the lights still on but no one home. Some half-baked idea forms and your primal nature takes over to accomplish the objective. Whether it’s venturing off to Del Taco for a Double Del, or scaling the math and science building to “prove a point,” your entire focus goes into accomplishing this feat. The folks at Georgia Southern are no different.
From The Statesboro Herald:
When a reportedly drunken, underage bar bouncer went looking for the breaker box in a Benson Drive home Feb. 6, he didn’t realize he was in the wrong house — the mayor’s house.
Just after 1 a.m. Feb. 6, Justin Dakota Gordon, 19, Gordon Circle, walked into Statesboro Mayor Jan Moore’s house, thinking it was his friend’s house on South Edgewood Drive, and startled Moore and her husband, Bill Moore, by entering their bedroom while talking on a cell phone, according to Statesboro police reports.
He then rambled around their bedroom closet, telling Bill Moore he was looking for the breaker box, reports stated.
The mayor called police while Gordon left the house through the back door. Responding officers found him “hugging a tree” in the back yard.
Gordon, who told police he was a bouncer at Shenanigan’s bar, was “very intoxicated and not able to support himself,” Statesboro police officer Patrick Webb wrote in reports.
If I’m the cop here, I’d just take the poor kid home. You know he’s already having a rough night if he’s holding onto a tree for dear life to support himself.
Ironically, Mayor Jan Moore has recently been trying to crack down on the underage drinking “problem” at Southern. I’m going out on a limb here and guessing that an inebriated giant breaking into her home and mumbling, “Where’s the damn breaker box?” won’t change her stance on the issue..
[via The Statesboro Herald]

Three solid articles in a day. Jack, where I’m from we call that a hot streak.
11 years ago at 2:06 pm#HammerTime2015
11 years ago at 9:01 pmDamn Jack. Today you came off the bench and scored 25 points in one quarter.
11 years ago at 2:12 pmBesides the typo on the first sentence, a really good article.
11 years ago at 2:15 pmOh wow, sorry for point out a fucking grammar error and complimenting the fucking article.
11 years ago at 4:20 pmDamn that’s me lol
11 years ago at 2:30 pmI’m sure it is.
11 years ago at 3:30 pmWhat’s with the bouncers at Southern, are they all mentally challenged?
11 years ago at 2:43 pmThem, and every other student that goes to that “school”.
11 years ago at 3:05 pmIt’s not our fault you decided to go to Georgia State man, you fucked yourself over on that one.
11 years ago at 5:35 pmYou fucked yourself by not getting in to UGA. It’s really not hard. Enjoy your astronomical STD rate and three bars.
11 years ago at 10:30 amAs long as you have a heart beat and can sign your name you can get into Southern. They also pretend like they’re rivals with UGA and that we care about their shitty school… and then they come up on the weekends and tailgate for some reason.
11 years ago at 3:03 pmJust wait on the game next year homie UGA is gonna be ass
11 years ago at 3:37 pmYou are delusional.
11 years ago at 6:27 amI go to southern and this fucking guy is a legend
11 years ago at 3:01 pmSolid stunt, kid looks like a chode though.
11 years ago at 3:04 pmThe kids lucky the mayor doesn’t sleep with a shotgun under the bed
11 years ago at 3:04 pmIt’s actually a woman lol
11 years ago at 3:38 pmWriting good articles for a change. THammerM.
11 years ago at 3:10 pmHe looks like a non recreational meth user.
11 years ago at 3:22 pmCasual meth use. TFM.
11 years ago at 7:03 pm