You Have A Chance To Win A Date With Retired Porn Star Lisa Ann
Brazzers has partnered up with the recently retired porn star Lisa Ann and is offering a once in a lifetime promotion. One person will be picked to be Lisa’s date to the Final Four championship game in Indianapolis come April. It’s presumably open to both men and women.
The rules of the contest are pretty simple: All you have to do is upload your best basketball trick on Instagram and tag it #BallisLisa.
If you’ve got some skills like the Globetrotters, you’ve got a shot. There are no details on what the date includes, but I’m sure it goes something like this:
Dinner at some nice restaurant where you don’t have to worry about a girl bitching about having to pick up the tab. That will be followed by getting hammered drunk while courtside of the championship game. You will be getting a lot of face time, so make sure your father knows to look out for you on the kiss cam. Make Dad proud. Lastly, the night will end with what I can imagine as an all-night long sex marathon. You have to get the biggest bang for your buck.
The only basketball trick I know is yelling at intramural refs, so I won’t be entering..
She’ll probably be getting gangbanged by the whole Kentucky team at the end of the date while you’re sitting in a corner tied up with a tennis ball shoved in your mouth, forced to watch the whole thing.
11 years ago at 9:46 amAre you implying there’s something wrong with that?
11 years ago at 11:31 amIsn’t that what the white guy on Kentucky does during their actual games?
11 years ago at 11:51 amLooks like she’s looking to continue her passion for big black cock.
11 years ago at 9:46 am“Retired”
11 years ago at 9:50 amWell folks guess being white does have a disadvantage.
11 years ago at 9:53 amWhat do you have to do to win a date with Dorns mom?
11 years ago at 10:12 amShe would give herself to you for free.
11 years ago at 10:51 am^
11 years ago at 1:39 pmHave a heartbeat.
11 years ago at 10:53 amI told my pal Detlef Schrempf to enter.
11 years ago at 10:13 amYou mean THE Detlef Schremp!?
11 years ago at 11:17 amNo. He meant the other Detlef Schrempf, but it’s an understandable mistake.
11 years ago at 11:27 amI fail to see how this is a win. Unless she reconstructed her vagina like the South after the Civil War, I don’t see how any of this would be enjoyable.
11 years ago at 10:34 amThe fact that you make such comment has me questioning your sexuality. It’s Lisa Fucking Ann.
11 years ago at 11:25 amI can do a pretty good reenactment of “the shot” by Christian Laettner and drink a lot of beer. How far will that get me?
11 years ago at 10:37 amNo fucking thanks
11 years ago at 10:46 amhttp://i.imgur.com/njP8QxN.gif
11 years ago at 10:50 amGreat gif choice, now you just have to learn how to embed it.
11 years ago at 11:17 amhttp://www.reshareit.com/wp-content/uploads/Tell-me-how-GIF.gif
11 years ago at 11:24 amWhen you get to the gif or picture you want on imgur, on the side of that page there is a blue highlighted link that says “embed”. Click that, it’ll take you to a new page with a ton of different options to link the picture/gif. Choose the “HTML (website / blogs)” option, copy and paste it in the comments section here, and there ya go.
11 years ago at 11:34 am
11 years ago at 11:38 am
11 years ago at 12:01 pmFuck you for ruining the secret. Asshole.
11 years ago at 12:44 pmYeah fuck that guy for not being a dick in an attempt to improve the comment sections.
11 years ago at 1:06 pmDear StarShieldandLamp,
11 years ago at 3:18 pmDix,
Suck my taint
11 years ago at 9:04 amGod bless you
11 years ago at 2:31 pmI spent quite a while trying to figure it out. I was too late to the punch for my gif of a white shark have diarrhea on a group of cage divers. If you are particularly interested, I got it up on the stinky airplane article.
11 years ago at 10:34 pm