Professor Welcomes Freshman Students By Showing Her X-Rated Video Of Her Shoving A Knife In Her Vagina
11 years ago

Professor Welcomes Freshman Students By Showing Her X-Rated Video Of Her Shoving A Knife In Her Vagina

What are some of the things you want to see on your first day of class as a college student? A class full of hot women? A syllabus that only has one test on it? A good looking professor? What if said good looking professor decided that she was going to show the entire class a video of her vagina? That would be nice, wouldn’t it? Too bad we don’t live in a world where that happens — or do we?

First-year students at Queen Mary University of London got an eyeful during their first day of theater class when their professor, Lauren Barri-Holstein, showed them a video excerpt from her movie “Splat!” The clip included her shoving a knife handle in her vagina and some other weird shit, including her pissing on stage.

From Telegraph:

As part of the introductory presentation to her Theatre and its Others module at Queen Mary University of London, the actress and PhD student showed first-year students the explicit material.

The intimate performance shows her inserting a knife handle into her vagina and throwing red tomatoes at the blade, giving birth to a small, plastic Bambi figurine, and inflating a condom.

Ms Barri-Holstein, creator of theatre company The Famous, said the work – which also shows scenes in which she urinated on stage and dangled naked from a harness – is relevant to her teaching module.

What the absolute fuck? How do you react when something like this happens? You’re sitting in the back of the class with an awkward boner wondering whether or not you should just offer to make an amateur porno with your teacher or if you should be disgusted. Can you ever look at your professor in the same way again?

What a start to the year for these kids.

[via Telegraph]

Image via Vimeo

  4. Colonel Kilgore

    Getting a real major in something besides theater would probably be a good place to start.

    11 years ago at 11:59 am
      3. MrPresident1865

        It was a colonel killgore quote from the Valkyries scene that I begrudgingly messed up. Lacing them up and gonna run this weird boner off from the video

        11 years ago at 2:12 pm
  5. MrPresident1865

    I’ve heard of power moves but goddamn. She must have tenure or she would have been booted

    11 years ago at 12:01 pm
    1. ColonelRebIsMyMascot

      She’s a PhD student, so tenure probably isn’t a thing. Psychosis may be, however.

      11 years ago at 1:30 pm
    1. DubyaH2

      I’m usually up for some pretty weird shit, but that made me curl into the fetal position and wish my eyeballs were burned out.

      11 years ago at 12:17 pm
    2. BrandonWeeden

      Well I am getting back into bed until tomorrow because that’s easily the most entertaining, weird shit I’ll see today.

      11 years ago at 12:28 pm
    7. Spell Checker

      Where do you have to go to even see a presentation like this? Asking for a friend.

      11 years ago at 9:56 pm
  9. Swan-Ronson

    I know what I’m about to see, and I know I’m not going to like it. Yet somehow I find myself clicking the play button. It’s the 2 girls 1 cup effect.

    11 years ago at 12:10 pm
  10. inhocFaF

    This is something I would expect to happen in Eastern Europe or Florida, not London.

    11 years ago at 12:11 pm
  11. FranklinHowardStogie

    I’d say she took the line, “How do I reach these keeeds,” just a little too far.

    11 years ago at 12:13 pm