Southerners Beware: Arkansas Man’s Kidneys Fail Due To Iced Tea Intake
It’s no secret that fraternity culture is popular in the south, and many of our readers consequently live there. What else is popular in the south? Iced tea. Not that it’s unpopular anywhere, really, but if you’re below the Mason-Dixon, you’re guzzling that shit daily. So was an unidentified 56-year-old man in Arkansas.
Last May, he went to the hospital experiencing nausea, weakness, fatigue and body aches. Doctors determined that his kidneys were severely clogged due to an excess of a the chemical oxalate. He’s now on what doctors think will be life long dialysis. Oxalate is found a handful of foods such as chocolate, spinach and, oh yeah, iced tea. But how much iced tea does it take to make your kidneys fail? Quite a bit, it turns out.
Our mystery man was drinking 16 cups of iced tea a day. 16 cups is equal to a gallon. Homeboy was drinking a gallon of only one beverage a day. A gallon! Your little Camelback water bottles you take to class are anywhere from 750mL to 1L. Think of drinking roughly four of those a day, but of straight iced tea.
The human body needs around 2 liters of water a day to stay hydrated, assuming no physical activity or caffeine intake dehydrates you. Caffeine is in tea. This guy already had diabetes and was fucking around with a gallon of dehydrating kidney-killing liquid a day. Being in the south makes me think he was also adding sugar to the concoction because, you know, diabetus.
Doctors came to the conclusion that the iced tea ruined his kidneys.
“It was the only reasonable explanation,” Dr. Umbar Ghaffar said. I love when my doctors give me that kind of assurance. “Hey doc, what’s this bump on my balls?” “Herpes. It’s the only reasonable explanation.” Yeah…bad example.
However, let this be a lesson to you SEC folks. Don’t drink a fuck ton of iced tea every damn day. Just stick to beer and whiskey and you won’t die of kidney failure. As for your liver, I can’t really help you there. .
Si is fucked
11 years ago at 1:06 pmThis is disturbing
11 years ago at 1:09 pmYou sound like you’re from a miserable part of the country kane
11 years ago at 1:12 pmThis doesn’t change anything for me.
11 years ago at 1:17 pmMan drinks gallon of sugary beverage every day for several years and does not drink water. Surprisingly health issues occur.
Click-bait fucks.
11 years ago at 1:17 pmReads article, drinks tea
11 years ago at 1:20 pmDon’t worry Obamacare will get him new kidneys.
11 years ago at 1:23 pmHe’s already dead, hoss. Re-read the article.
11 years ago at 8:54 am“He’s now on what doctors think will be life long dialysis.” He’s not dead, just fucked for the rest of his life.
11 years ago at 9:30 amRadio this morning said dead, so I skimmed the article. Thanks Obama.
11 years ago at 10:04 amDon’t tell me how to live my life “Fratrick”.
11 years ago at 1:23 pmIced tea? We don’t like you’re kind around here.
11 years ago at 1:24 pmyour*
11 years ago at 2:17 pmDon’t tell me how to live my life you yankee grammer nazi.
11 years ago at 3:28 pm*grammar
11 years ago at 7:12 pmIt’s called sweet tea Yankee.
11 years ago at 1:25 pm