Manziel Escapes The City And Heads For The Burbs, Destined For Hall Of Fame
The air is cleaner. The birds are chirpier. The people are friendlier. The yards are kept. The crime is nonexistent. Food tastes better. Hot moms flood the streets with their hot mom friends and curl 3 lb. dumbbells up and down the sidewalks. The street punks roll around on Schwinns and wear collared shirts.
It’s all part of the #BurbLife, a lifestyle I’ve fully adapted to and enjoyed since last summer. I never fully understood what dominating life was all about until I escaped the distractions of the big city and moved out to my golfing community just west of Austin. Now my shit’s on lock. Things at work are really taking off for me, I’m in better shape, my 401 (k) is flush, and my dick is even bigger.
Johnny Manziel gets it. After a brief stint in rehab, Manziel is looking for a fresh start in new surroundings. He recently moved out of his high rise condo in Cleveland’s Metropolitan at The 9 — where he was allegedly involved in an assault — and has settled into a quaint, suburban golf community.
From ESPN:
The Browns quarterback has moved out of his downtown Cleveland apartment and into a golf course community in a suburb west of town, according to a source.
Golf has been a constructive outlet for Manziel since his return, the source said.
Hmu for a home-and-home golf series, Johnny. Burb style. We’ll see if you can handle the sharp undulations of the Texas hill country.
Back to football. Look for Johnny to secure the starting QB spot and throw for about a million yards this season. Let’s get this guy measured for a gold jacket already, damn.
[via ESPN]
Image via Instagram/ @jmanziel2
Country mouse ass motherfucker.
11 years ago at 4:29 pmInner-city trash
11 years ago at 4:30 pmBurbs are for boring people who give up on life and start poppin kids.
11 years ago at 8:29 pmDorn, little boys are not a reliable judge of penis size.
11 years ago at 4:29 pmYou know from experience sounds like… I’m guessing you can’t live within 1mile of a school.
11 years ago at 8:31 pmwhat a tremendous waste of golf balls
11 years ago at 4:29 pmAway from the city, closer to the children. Right Dorn?
11 years ago at 4:31 pmNo. Not at all. You sick, sick son of a bitch.
11 years ago at 4:33 pmWait a few years until you upgrade to a Gated Community. It makes the Burbs look like the city.
11 years ago at 4:56 pmdenial is the first sign of addiction
11 years ago at 6:09 pmHe lives in Avon Ohio….its humble as shit.
11 years ago at 5:22 pmBut did your uncle Alexander buy an almost new gold Volkswagen?
11 years ago at 7:56 amIt’s all about that #BourbonLife, Dorn. Homeless but never sober. #Winning
11 years ago at 4:32 pmGrandex company match up to what percent?
11 years ago at 4:37 pmStraight up 3% contribution every paycheck, bro.
11 years ago at 6:23 pm
11 years ago at 8:39 pmCome on Madison, even my cheap ass Jew boss offers us 4% contribution. Although I’m sure Dorn make up for that extra 1% with all the clothing perks.
11 years ago at 7:41 amNever forget Johhny
11 years ago at 4:42 pmI prefer rolled up $100 bill in bathroom in Vegas… But splitting hairs. Nice photo.
11 years ago at 9:38 pmDorn… 401k… Haha.
11 years ago at 5:59 pmAnd the annual dick riding of Johnny Manziel begins
11 years ago at 6:19 pmBack to sucking dick in football. But hey, atleast he’s got a quant, mediocre par 3 course just across the street now!
11 years ago at 6:53 pm