Taco Bell Wants To Change The Game And Start Serving Alcohol Soon

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There are certain events that you will never forget: initiation, graduation, that time your pledge brother got cut off on “All You Can Eat Pancake Night” after eating 43 pancakes and drinking a carafe of tomato juice. These things stay with you for life, but their importance is minuscule compared to the news that just dropped a few days ago. This is the monumental moment of our generation. This is the moment that you learned that Taco Bell may begin serving alcohol.

We’ve all had those late night conversations about how much money Taco Bell could rake in by selling booze. It’s just a savvy business move. Real supply and demand type shit. One franchise that’s opening soon in Chicago’s Wicker Park realized this and is moving mountains to make it happen. Set to open this summer, this Taco Bell will, provided it’s approved, have a liquor license.

Holy. Shit.

It’s perfect. Taco Bell has been a favorite drunk food for years. Many scholars suggest that Taco Bell was actually founded with late night drunk munchies in mind. Look it up.

This Taco Bell won’t just be a regular Taco Bell that happens to serve alcohol. A spokesman for the company that owns Taco Bell said that this particular restaurant will have a “completely new urban restaurant design.” It’s not just going to be a fast food joint. It’s going to be a nightlife spot.

I already know this is going to be a wild success. It’s got money written all over it. When other Taco Bell locations see this, they’ll follow suit and start serving vodka Baja Blasts and other fine drinks, too. Simple shit, guys. They’d be idiots not to do it.

For years, drunk people have been going on late night Taco Bell runs. Some folks have brought in flasks of liquor or even cans of beer to enjoy with their cheesy, Mexican-ish food. Now, provided everything works out, people can go to Taco Bell hungry and sober, and then leave satisfied and with a buzz. What an exciting time to live in this country. Here’s hoping the license gets approved. It’s not what the people want; it’s what the people need.

[via VICE]

Image via Wikipedia

  1. Tomfromcorporate

    Yeah sounds great but I eat my Taco Bell like everyone else, through the drive thru, and I can’t imagine the they would be allowed to hand open containers of alcohol to drivers or passengers.

    11 years ago at 9:57 am
    1. USArmy

      There are places in Texas (and I’m sure elsewhere) that have drive through liqour sales. They put it in a styrafoam cup with a lid, then encase the container in a plastic bag that “should not be opened until final destination”. I’m sure sure about the legal hurdles, but this seems like a viable solution.

      11 years ago at 10:02 am
  2. Mayor of Weinerville

    Last time I ate Taco Bell I pooped my pants and swore I would never do it again. Looks like I need to buy some more pants.

    11 years ago at 10:03 am
    1. McFrat

      Butt stuff after Taco Bell seems highly questionable. Then again, it it butt stuff nonetheless.

      11 years ago at 10:25 am
  3. Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint

    Am I stupid, or can you not view the videos section on the new version of the app?

    11 years ago at 10:05 am
    1. Fratasaurus

      Just updated it, already regretting it. No forums but hey atleast we can flag offensive comments now and clean up this site!

      11 years ago at 10:27 am
      1. MWickham

        Go to the “more” tab and switch on “Show NSFW Images” to remove the blur. We had to make this change to keep the app in the App Store, unfortunately.

        11 years ago at 10:38 am
      1. Dorothy Mantooth is a Saint

        Well that’s inconvenient if I want to only look at videos now isn’t it?

        11 years ago at 10:37 am
      2. JustForTheStory

        Everything you post, while having no entertaining value, is incredibly helpful.

        11 years ago at 11:11 am
  4. WolfofTappanStreet

    We’re finally starting to figure out what mystery meat their ground beef is comprised of and now we’re gonna start drinking their liquor? I imagine a refreshing concoction of listerine, fermented potato vodka brewed in house, and a sprig or two of herpes infested pubes from a disgruntled employee.

    11 years ago at 10:11 am
  5. prex8390

    I like to eat. I like to drink. I just don’t like to eat and drink. Nothing is better after a hard night of drinking than some tacos and a Baja blast. That’s just my 2 cents.

    11 years ago at 10:17 am