The Latest Gronk Video Is Weird As Hell
The latest video of Rob Gronkowski is straight up bizarre. Everything about the short film noir is filled with what-the-fuckery. The highly sexual, disembodied voice speaking over slow-motion footage of Gronk stretching. The roman gladiator armor. The recordings of old school football games spliced with clips of Gronk running on a beach with ladies wearing bikini tops and “Get Gronk’d” bottoms (Okay, that part is actually kind of dope).
I don’t know, man. The whole thing is clearly geared for a female audience, but it gives me the heebie-jeebies. The article that the video accompanies, published in DuJour, is also pretty weird. It contains about two full paragraphs describing Gronk eating a steak, comparing the intensity with which he eats to his intensity on the field.
A massacre has just occurred at a ritzy restaurant in northern Miami. The assassin — a man-beast of 265 pounds with a tree-trunk-thick neck — is sawing mercilessly into the pile of bloody flesh.
*Shudders*.
[via a href=”http://dujour.com/lifestyle/rob-gronkowski-patriots-pictures-interview/” target=”_blank”>DuJour]
On a “the latest” basis with gronk vids. Wow youre fuckin gay tfm
10 years ago at 5:33 pmAt least it’s not Dorn writing about high school boys again.
10 years ago at 5:43 pmhigh school boys? please
10 years ago at 5:46 pmThats absurdly generous
10 years ago at 5:47 pmThis joke is funny because ole haircut Dorno is a child molester. I think I’m starting to get it.
10 years ago at 6:01 pmPlease don’t turn Gronk into the next Bilzerian. I actually like Gronk.
10 years ago at 5:41 pmI’m surprised you guys aren’t hailing this as an Oscar front-runner.
10 years ago at 5:41 pmI wish I had never seen this.
10 years ago at 5:51 pmEnough with the Gronk bullshit
10 years ago at 5:54 pmEnough with the fucking sharkweekTFM bull shit
10 years ago at 7:12 pmYou take that back. SharkweekTFM is a fucking saint.
10 years ago at 8:16 pm“You speak so eloquently” “I don’t even know what that word means” Never change Gronk. Never change.
10 years ago at 6:24 pmPlease never say “dope” ever again
10 years ago at 7:12 pmI can tell you first hand that upstate New York is not famous for football…
10 years ago at 7:45 pmThat girls voice at the beginning freaks me the fuck out.
10 years ago at 8:01 pm“Why’d you want to play professional football?”
“Isn’t it obvious, for the girls” — Gronk
10 years ago at 10:00 pm