This Fish Can Walk On Land, Will Haunt Every Fisherman’s Nightmares
Fishing is right up there with golf when it comes to hobbies of the fraternity man, and our slippery, scaly victims are crawling out of the ocean to enact their revenge.
A breed of fish known as the climbing perch is slowly making its way toward Australia from southeast Asia, and one researcher believes it could make it all the way to the continent just in time to fuck up our Aussie friends before they can cast another line.
The little bastards drag themselves across the land with their gills and can survive for days out of water. They even puff out their walking gills to suffocate predators that swallow them before continuing on their terrifying march to retribution.
Just look at this shit:
Fuck me sideways.
It’s just a matter of time before you go to sleep, only to be awoken by the sensation of something flopping around on your stomach. You will awaken to a pair of black, beady eyes staring into your guilty, fish-murdering soul. Before you can cry for help, the climbing perch will jump into your mouth, puff out its gills, and lodge itself in your esophagus until the final, gurgling breath escapes your body.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you..
[via Washington Post]

If it walks round my boat ill challenge it to fisticuffs
10 years ago at 4:28 pmShut up Meg.
10 years ago at 4:47 pmThere’s really no telling how many animals inhabit southeast Asia and Australia that would haunt us.
10 years ago at 4:28 pmThat 60 second ad can fuck off
10 years ago at 5:07 pmAnd then that fish fucked a monkey squirrel and had butt sex with another fish-frog. And that monkey offspring became you.
10 years ago at 5:15 pmWanna try that one again, pal?
10 years ago at 5:53 pmFurther confirming the fact that fucking everything from Asia is weird.
10 years ago at 5:25 pmTotalFishMove?
10 years ago at 5:35 pmTake a lap buddy
10 years ago at 5:38 pmHit it with a golf club.
10 years ago at 5:37 pmThe combo of Boosh and DeVryGuy is making this site really weird
10 years ago at 5:46 pmI’m all for it at this point
10 years ago at 7:53 pmI feel like SharkWeekTFM would have an opinion on this
10 years ago at 6:04 pmWhere is that guy? Hasn’t some enterprising marine biologist tagged him at some point so we can see his location out in the Frocean? (Frat ocean)
10 years ago at 12:29 am60 second ad was worth watching a fish flop around for 36 seconds
10 years ago at 6:09 pm