Cleveland Indians Bullpen Holding Teammate’s 100th Career HR Ball Hostage Until He Buys Them All Apple Products And Lube

A group of Cleveland Indians players sent teammate Brandon Moss a ransom note with their demands after the slugger launched his 100th career home run ball into their outfield bullpen.

The demands include an iPhone Six, Apple Watch, iPads, Macbooks and a 50-gallon drum of lube. There appears to be no due date for these items. The Indians Twitter account shared the photo, perhaps missing the lube quip, last night.

Does this constitute hazing? Do the Indians need to send a counselor out to the bullpen to discuss the rights and wrongs of interacting with teammates?

If he ever wants to see that ball again, he’s going to have to pony up some serious cash. That’s at least a couple grand worth of Apple products, and god knows how much a 50-gallon drum of lube goes for these days. Moss is making $6.5 million this year, so maybe he won’t be as frugal with his cash as fellow millionaire and CBS president Leslie Moonves.

    1. Gray Ghost of the Aquifer

      Alright alright, nevermind. Can’t blame me for thinking Helmet Stickers let his imagination get the best of him though.

      10 years ago at 4:39 pm
    1. FratLivesMatter

      Please don’t hashtag that 3 letter sequence, or hashtag at all here for that matter.

      10 years ago at 6:53 pm