Kings Center Jarret Stoll Has Great Lawyers, Doesn’t Get Charged For Molly Possession
Eight grams of Molly and an 8-ball of cocaine? Odds are good that I’m lying naked and dead in a motel room after trying to break the Guinness World Record for how many drugs you can snort off a prostitute’s ass.
However, in Vegas, that amount of drugs means you and your teammates are in for a good time. Kings center/Erin Andrews plower Jarret Stoll was arrested back in April at MGM Grand with a shit ton of Molly and cocaine in his swim trunks.
His life is basically over now. He’s out of a job forever. He’s going to jail for life. He’ll never see the light of day. Have fun getting ass blasted by Zdeno Chara-looking convicts.
Wait. No. I forgot. He’s rich.
Stoll is instead facing just one felony count of possession of a controlled substance relating to the cocaine.
From The Orange County Register:
Kings center Jarret Stoll was charged with one felony count of cocaine possession Monday, two months after he was arrested poolside at a Las Vegas hotel.
I’m not a scientist, but how do you get $800-worth of MDMA to disappear from your charges? Also, what’s the name and contact information for your lawyer? Also, while I’m here, can I borrow some money/Molly/cocaine?
I’ll take my answer off the air.
If convicted, Stoll faces up to four years in jail or probation. He’ll get probation..
[via The Orange County Register]
Image via YouTube

We’ve had enough of all things Canada for the rest of the summer.
10 years ago at 4:09 pmEighty grams of Molly costs a bit more than $800..
10 years ago at 4:16 pmYou clearly need a new drug dealer
10 years ago at 4:42 pmYou clearly arent buying molly.
10 years ago at 6:13 pmLast time SWIM restocked the Molly inventory, he got a three five of pink rock crystals for $275. 8 g would not be $800. More $550-600, but I assume he bought a half.
10 years ago at 2:15 amBut of course he didn’t buy any of it, which is generally a separate and more serious crime than possession. The drug fairies put them there.
10 years ago at 2:16 amPink crystals are all right the crash is pretty rough. Bugatis though are the tits!! And more costly, so could be.
10 years ago at 1:53 amIt was 8 not 80, guy
10 years ago at 6:21 pmThis isnt fraternity related!! You fu- oh wait…its summer thus equalling an essentially non existent fraternity life. Ill keep my stupid whore mouth shut.
Anyway…
10 years ago at 4:23 pmMy original comment was going to be
“Good for him”
Do less, guy.
10 years ago at 5:28 pmBetter Call Saul.
10 years ago at 4:32 pmGo Kings Go
10 years ago at 4:36 pmBut is Erin Andrews available?
10 years ago at 4:41 pmHaving great lawyers is an absolute blessing. And possession charges, if its a first offense, will typically get probation, rehab and maybe a huge fine/community service. Lets just say I have some real world experience.
10 years ago at 5:16 pmWatch out we got a hardass over here.
10 years ago at 5:36 pmNot really I just do a lot of drugs and ha e an excellent lawyer
10 years ago at 5:52 pmNot really I just do a lot of drugs and have an excellent lawyer
10 years ago at 5:52 pmDo you have a stutter or do you just do a lot of drugs?
10 years ago at 7:11 pmHe just does a lot of drugs and has an excellent lawyer.
10 years ago at 7:49 pmDrugs definitely drugs.
10 years ago at 7:50 pmThe Kings have been getting in loads of trouble. Voynov beating up his wife and now this. Remember gents, only geeds get caught.
10 years ago at 5:48 pm*Only geeds get charged
10 years ago at 8:55 pmBecause the Kings are a team mostly composed of lowlife scum that disgrace the sport of hockey.
10 years ago at 2:17 amLowlife scum with two Cups in the last four years.
10 years ago at 11:31 amLawyers can’t keep you from getting charged, dumbass.
10 years ago at 7:09 pmYou must be a member of the house that your name speaks of.
10 years ago at 9:49 pmAll the molly disappeared, huh? Sounds likes Officer Farva and company stopped by the evidence locker and had themselves a good time. Mystery solved.
10 years ago at 10:53 pm