Hold On To Your Sack, Commies, America Just Made The Nuclear Bomb Even Deadlier

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Earlier today, the United States Air Force and the National Nuclear Security Administration successfully completed a test on a nuclear gravity bomb with an upgraded tail-kit. This means a nuke dropped from an airplane will be more accurate than ever, which means we’ll be able to put the tip of the bomb right in the center of Putin’s bald head if he tries to flex nuts.

From UPI:

“This test marks a major milestone for the B61-12 Life Extension Program, demonstrating end-to-end system performance under representative delivery conditions,” said NNSA Deputy Administrator for Defense Programs Dr. Don Cook. “Achieving the first complete B61-12 flight test provides clear evidence of the nation’s continued commitment to maintain the B61 and provides assurance to our allies.”

“Step to me, ya gon’ get burnt, sucka” – Dr. Don Cook

While we can already direct a launched nuclear missile straight into the humbly-sized nards of Kim Jong Un, missile launches can be detected by satellite, giving the bad guys a heads up. But if one of these were dropped from a stealth bomber, the enemy wouldn’t have a great deal of warning time, meaning they’d be sitting in a pile of their own smoldering, communist flesh before they have a chance to retaliate.

Suck it, Russia.

[via UPI]

Image via Shutterstock

  1. Louisfeldhaus

    The USA is like the NBA All-Star team and the rest of the world is just a 4 year-old paraplegic YMCA team

    10 years ago at 5:38 pm
  2. Lauras_Bush

    How accurate does a nuclear bomb have to be? I think as long as it lands in the right city it won’t make too much of a difference… However it’s always nice to flex our nuts

    10 years ago at 5:51 pm
    1. Bluto_Brotarsky

      Not quite sure how big the blast radius is on the bomb quoted. So I guess it’s a bit better if you wipe out the industrial center of a big city than having a delay and blowing up a residential district 5 miles away.

      10 years ago at 8:26 pm
    2. Dave1029

      Nuclear bombs come in all different sizes. Some were made with the intent of leveling entire cities, others for more tactical purposes- such as taking out a weapons plant without killing innocent people. The first is typically what is mounted on an ICBM, while the latter are usually found on nuclear capable aircraft.

      10 years ago at 12:27 pm
      1. USArmy

        I find this to be an interesting point. Much like truth and morals, it often depends on the point of view

        10 years ago at 1:58 pm
    1. bfs

      i bet you let other fraternities into your rush parties so “everyone has a fair chance!”

      10 years ago at 12:06 pm
    2. General_Longstreet

      Hey, chief. I don’t think your hippie liberal thinking really fits in on this site. I’d like to direct you to Huffington Post. They seem to be more your speed

      10 years ago at 12:20 pm
  3. thaisticktony

    Enjoy that a nuclear test program is called the “life extension” program

    10 years ago at 6:26 pm
    1. The_real_TG

      This is a Cold War era tech that’s getting a refresh so the USM doesn’t have to spend another billion dollars of our money to develop a new nuclear weapon

      10 years ago at 8:11 pm
  4. Sultan Of Swat

    The thumbnail made it look like we were somehow able to carpet bomb nukes. Thought we were just going to get rid of the entire Middle East in one fell swoop. Dropping a bomb that requires no accuracy, more accurately, Is cool too I guess.

    10 years ago at 4:54 am
    1. USArmy

      Wrong place, fucktard. Go eat some Hummus and listen to zither music, shit for brains.

      10 years ago at 1:01 pm