We Wrote A Letter To The University Of Texas To Become Its Official Apparel Brand; UT Didn’t Respond
After nearly 17 years of business between Nike and The University of Texas, the Longhorns are open to hearing offers from other companies to become the official apparel brand of UT athletics. Under Armour, Adidas and even Russell Athletic have been mentioned as possible suitors for the coveted UT brand.
Seeing an opportunity to grow and shift the Rowdy Gentleman brand from the tailgating scene to the on-field action, we wrote Texas athletic director Steve Patterson a letter asking him to make RG the official apparel brand of UT athletics. Why bother with all the major players when you have one sitting right in your backyard?
This letter hit Steve’s direct email last week:

AUSTIN-Tex. In recent weeks, it has become apparent that The University of Texas (UT) athletic program is willing to listen to offers from apparel companies outside of its current partner, NIKE. Hell, just yesterday, Austin American-Statesman sports reporter Brian Davis suggested that UT might be entertaining offers from Russell Athletic. Russell Athletic?! Who knew they were still in business? Today, Austin-based Rowdy Gentleman (RG) is proud to join the race for consideration to be the official apparel partner of University of Texas athletics.
This is an open letter to UT Director of Athletics Steve Patterson. Look, we get it, you want to cut costs. You’ve charged alumni 25 bucks just to walk on the field during reunion weekends, upped season ticket prices 20-50 percent after another mediocre football season, and even took money out of the golf team’s budget to pay for a congratulatory ad celebrating Jordan Spieth after his Masters win. We don’t blame you Steve for being a greedy little penny-pincher. In fact, we want to help.
Rowdy Gentleman has a rich history of college apparel innovation; specializing in hilarious t-shirts, tank tops, flags, hats, and beer sleeves. We believe it would be cost effective for The University of Texas to sign a long-term deal making Rowdy Gentleman and Lady by Rowdy Gentleman the official apparel brands of Longhorn athletics.
“Steve, while we can’t compete with bigger brands on compensation, we promise to deliver no money back to the general university fund, in keeping with the ‘Patterson Plan’ for the Longhorn Network.” RG CEO Madison Wickham said. “We figured you’d like it that way.”
Although Rowdy Gentleman has never actually made on-field apparel (except for America’s most kick-ass gym shorts), it does specialize in tailgating apparel. RG is pleased to team up with Austin-based online retailer Man Outfitters for deals on tailgating essentials, including YETI coolers and Patagonia sportswear.
“Let’s be honest,” Wickham said. “Tailgating is the only good part of present-day UT sports anyway. No one wants to buy a UT football jersey after yet another disappointing season, but everyone likes a world-class cooler.”
Rowdy Gentleman promises not to make obnoxious team jerseys like other apparel brands. Outside of game-day Hawaiian shirts for coaches and staff, RG will attempt to maintain the burnt orange status quo.
“We know you like it as boring as possible,” RG apparel strategist Micah Wilson said. “Burnt Orange and White. White and White. We can handle that.”
Support local business, Steve. We know you are one who enjoys doing the unprecedented, so let Austin-based Rowdy Gentleman and Lady by Rowdy Gentleman help you create the coolest, most cost-effective, and globally relevant (we’re huge in Dubai!) Longhorn apparel on the market. Hook ‘em!
Well, after a weekend of intense deliberation, we are proud to announce that Steve Patterson has not emailed us back yet.
He’s probably on vacation, or crunching the numbers on RG apparel, or bringing in his team for some kind of extended due diligence on the RG brand. Makes sense. It’s always good to do your homework — or pay someone to do your homework for you.
Steve, if you’re reading this (we know you’ve got the Greek life connections), we want you to know that we are willing and ready to up the ante on that first order of Longhorns RG gear.
Don’t make us chase down a competitor. We know you want to cut costs, big guy. We can help.
Please email us back by EOB Friday, or we’ll have to reevaluate our offer..
Image via YouTube

A shitty brand for a shitty team. Makes perfect sense to me.
10 years ago at 2:17 pmAll written by a shitty writer.
10 years ago at 2:37 pmRemember the guy who sent in a job application completely bashing every staff member here? Did he actually get a job? Completely unrelated to the article but just wondering.
10 years ago at 2:24 pmI think he wrote like once and it was pretty poorly received in the comments.
10 years ago at 2:26 pmNo that was the guy who wrote that article about all that shit like “meeting some model and fucking her in a cabin after his buddy couldnt close” (or some shit) and it all turned out to be fake. So he got fired. Then reapplied as HelmetStickers and now we are here.
10 years ago at 4:24 pmI remember that guy, he wrote a whole story about banging some Miss “State” at the only horse farm in Kentucky after some horse race. People quickly called him out on all the inaccuracies in his story. I think he wrote one more article that was equally fabricated.
10 years ago at 8:26 pmIf that’s the case how does Steve Holt still have a job?
10 years ago at 4:25 pm“Specializing in hilarious shirts, tank tops, flags, hats and beer sleeves” . You’re over selling yourself just a bit.
10 years ago at 2:38 pmI know you were trying to be funny and satirical but this was fucking awful, just like everything else you write.
10 years ago at 2:51 pmThis post was so gay, it gave me AIDS
10 years ago at 3:00 pmWho writes a letter, then gets no response, so they decide to write a TFM news article about the letter they wrote?
10 years ago at 3:01 pmThey gotta meet the daily shameless bullshit plug quota somehow
10 years ago at 3:09 pmMaybe you guys should try Texas State? You know… the school where half of your staff graduated from even though you like to act like tu alums?
10 years ago at 3:03 pmSo you are saying UT is like Target and the Grandex Alma Mater is like Walmart?
10 years ago at 3:44 pmUT
10 years ago at 3:56 pmMaybe they heard about the SharkWeekTFM thing.
10 years ago at 3:03 pmAnd that’s the last I’ll say about it.
“We wrote comments to Total Frat Move to become forum participants; TFM didn’t respond.”
10 years ago at 3:23 pmAs shitty as the Texas football team is and even they don’t want your brand. Maybe you should sponsor a Texas high-school considering they’re probably the only ones who buy your stuff anyway.
10 years ago at 3:26 pm