The Morning Bump: Streaking Through The Quad

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Mornings are shit. Everyone knows that. You’re tired, you’re hungover, and you have to get up and do stuff. You could use a little motivation. A little pick-me-up. A little morning bump, if you will. Well here you go, bitch. Get jacked up and seize the motherfucking day.

“What’s this lyin’ around shit?”

Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

John Daly has no shame, and neither should you.

That’s how it’s done. Blast a heater, toss it into your divot, fire it onto the driving range, and move on.

Don’t you ever stop believing.

Hold on to that weekend feeling all week long, baby.

“I’ll do one! I’ll do one!”

Now get out there, do more than one, take your clothes off, and go streaking through the fucking quad. Make this week your bitch. Godspeed.

  1. Wasted Wednesday

    I see you’re bringing the morning T boost over to TFM. Don’t screw it up.

    10 years ago at 9:38 am
  2. Dthesmith

    Is this your new thing? Saying fuck you to respectable articles and commendable Fail Friday and giving up these “Morning Bumps?” Damn you, damn you all to hell

    10 years ago at 10:26 am
  3. RedPill

    Anyone remember a few month back when that popular high school football player streaked across the field? He committed suicide because they were going I place him on the sex offender registry for it.
    But go ahead and listen to Bolen.

    10 years ago at 11:55 am