The Morning Bump: World Domination
Mornings are dog shit. Monday mornings especially. You’re tired and hungover, but you have to get out of bed and do stuff. So you could use a little motivation. A little pick-me-up. A little morning bump, if you will. Well here you go, friend. Put this metaphorical straw to your nose and snort.
Take What’s Yours
Nicky Santoro didn’t take shit from anybody. At least not until he was beaten to death with baseball bats at the end of the movie, but that’s neither here nor there. Dude took what he wanted when he wanted it. For a little guy of that stature to be able to strike fear into the heart of anyone is impressive. Take some inspiration from Nicky’s go-getter attitude, and earn your keep today.
Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong
Every man’s goal is to end up on a yacht surrounded by twerking models, smoking Cuban cigars, drinking fine champagne and strong liquor, and hanging with UGK (RIP Chad Butler). Every day is an opportunity to get a little closer to accomplishing that goal. What’re you gonna name your yacht? I’m naming mine “Fuck City.” Then I’m gonna walk up to everyone on board that’s not boning and say, “Check your lease, man, because you’re living in Fuck City.”
Get High Like Arnold
Being the best isn’t just about winning. It’s about humiliating the competition, mercilessly ripping your opponents, and rubbing your success into the eye sockets of everyone on this spinning blue planet. If at the end of the day you’re not kicked back on the couch, rocking a shirt that literally says you’re “numero uno,” and casually smoking a joint, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your life..
Stick that metaphorical straw up helmetheads ass, Bolen.
10 years ago at 6:52 amwhat the fuck are you even talking about?
10 years ago at 7:17 amMan even my presidency had a higher approval rating than you do now. Get a job or something.
10 years ago at 9:17 amthis was salt. no pump
10 years ago at 7:02 amSmh HS tryhard
10 years ago at 7:17 amIs this really the best you could come up with?
10 years ago at 7:31 amSorry their exec I dont put all my time into witty comments on this sight like you prolly do
10 years ago at 8:20 amYou just need to relax, champ
10 years ago at 8:35 amYour shit reads like you’re a 12-yr-old.
10 years ago at 8:37 amBalled already? He didn’t even last half a day.
10 years ago at 11:09 amSee, enough of this shit will make you invincible, able to conquer the world, and eviscerate your enemy’s.
10 years ago at 7:31 amMy enemy’s what?
10 years ago at 7:42 amGirlfriend
10 years ago at 2:33 pmTFM’s a piece of shit. Please blackball me so I have no reason to come back
10 years ago at 9:25 amThat would make my Monday morning that much less shitty.
10 years ago at 9:52 amOk.
10 years ago at 11:29 amI honestly wonder why people like you even bother saying anything. Why don’t you just simply not come back?
10 years ago at 1:40 pmMy Monday morning motivation is to work hard or end up like Steve Holt.
10 years ago at 9:53 am