I Want To Be A Republican So Badly: Donald Trump

I Want To Be A Republican So Badly- Donald Trump

So I assume all of you watched the Republican debate the other night. I mean, heck…24 million people did, so if you didn’t, you either don’t give a shit, or you somehow forgot that we elect our leaders in this country. Even if you missed it, I’m sure you saw some Donald Trump clips the next day. The current popular rhetoric on Trump goes something like this: “Yeah, the dude is ridiculous, but it’s refreshing to have a candidate actually say what he thinks. We get packaged responses from every other politician, but thank God that Donald is just telling it how it is, even if it’s insane.” Shockingly, I have a ton of liberal friends, and even some of them are actually saying the same thing. They’re happier that he’s speaking his mind than they are upset about the fact that his words are those of a crazy person.

There are three potential reasons that Donald Trump is allowed to be as popular as he is right now:

1. He represents a shift in the party toward insanity (which, given some of the shit we’ve witnessed from republicans who actually are in office, is not too far off).

2. He’s a voice of the things that people think, but don’t want to say. This is, of course, the most popular. Somehow, by Trump being an asshole, and not apologizing for being an asshole, it makes him better than career politicians who have committed the capital crime of measuring their words.

3. He’s only being given a platform to make the eventual republican nominee look sane by comparison.

I’m assuming (hoping) that number three is the most likely. Donald Trump is a fucking moron. He was born into money, fell out of money, stumbled back into money, assumed he was smart, and decided to take the reality TV route into more money, rather than, you know, actually making good business decisions. And now we find him here, on the grand stage of actual presidential candidates. And somehow we let him remain there. Why? Oh, shit. It’s because he’s leading in the polls.

Look, I’m not worried about Trump just because he’s leading the polls now. I can’t name a single candidate in the modern era who actually won the presidency after leading the polls this early. What I’m worried about is that Trump is even here to begin with. There were several guys who looked good in the last debate. Jeb came off as an intellectual, which is impressive, given that he’s basically assumed to be the lesser version of his brother. Marco Rubio was sharp, and made himself a contender, despite his age. Rand Paul (full disclosure, the guy I plan to vote for), had a bad time overall, but still looked good. He spent too many words talking about the constitution with Christie, who’s a piece of shit (fat, or otherwise). Ted Cruz may be a serious candidate, but the fact that I consider him to be a disgrace to the ideals of political discourse may (hopefully) overwhelm him.

The most important thing is the aftermath. What did people talk about? Hell, if you look at the list of people I follow on Twitter, it’s basically all liberals. Why? Because most of the people I follow are comedians, and the best comedians are liberal. Is that a political problem? I don’t know. Maybe more conservatives should try to be professionally funny, and, you know…be good at it.

Anyway, the point that I’m attempting to make here is that there’s not an intelligent conservative on the planet who supports Trump. In fact, all well-read conservatives think Trump is a joke, and assume that he’s only running to promote his brand as a businessman. However, Trump is currently leading the polls. Trump is dominating the conversation of the republican debate. Trump may be a patsy to make the eventual republican nominee look sane by comparison, but make no mistake, the fact that we, as a party, are allowing an ignorant, trust fund baby, multiple bankrupter to EVER lead the poll of our party, means that WE are fucking up. Donald Trump being popular is not a ploy, it’s a mistake, and republicans deserve better.

Image via YouTube

  1. Buck_Weston

    Part of me wants Trumo to be elected just to see what happens. The other part of me wants to kick Steve Holt in the nuts.

    9 years ago at 8:12 am
    1. DasCrow

      In the battle of right and wrong you can only pick one side… Sorry to break it to you Steve but Buck Weston sounds like he can kick pretty hard.

      9 years ago at 8:36 am
  2. Colonel Kilgore

    So, the same people who employ Steve Holt are telling me Donald Trump is the problem? Interesting, interesting…

    9 years ago at 8:13 am
  3. Richard Hayden

    This would be a perfect topic to discuss if we, oh I don’t know, HAD THE FUCKING FORUMS.

    9 years ago at 8:13 am
    1. GolfBrofessional

      I hope the douche bag journalism major from some liberal arts college that wrote this garbage has (1) already been fired, and (2) moves out of America when Trump wins. Trump comes from a wealthy family, attended the best business school in the world and has worked his ass off to grow the wealth provided to him. If TFM can’t support a man who wants to “Make America great again” and bring back the American Dream, then I can’t support TFM.

      9 years ago at 4:23 pm
    1. DillonChereveve

      I never want what came over you when you commented that to combover me.

      9 years ago at 9:12 am
  4. Phamous Phi

    THANK YOU! Fuckin mouthbreathers think he’s the answer because he’s “a businessman” what a bunch of idiots

    9 years ago at 8:16 am
  5. AnyTwoWillDo

    Don’t sleep on Kasich boys, he’s legit. Moderate Republican who sits in a swing state (Ohio) and is very electable. Just sayin

    9 years ago at 8:22 am
    1. Sir Fratinald

      I think he showed very well in the debate especially for barely making the prime time debate. He and Walker are my favorites for the facts they are the most practical, but the dream would be a walker-Rubio campaign. However after the debate I really like Carson for his shear intelligence although his lack of experience does scare me a little bit I think he would make an EXCELLENT VP. Trump is the Perot of our generation so I hate him.

      9 years ago at 9:16 am
    2. Larry_Sellers

      I grew up in Ohio and subsequently know and love Kasich. He has done great things for the state. However, I think it’s unlikely for him to overcome the rest of the field in popularity, despite him being a moderate and generally having great ideas about most issues, just for the fact that prior to a few months ago, most of Americans had never heard of him. I do think he would make a great VP for whoever ends up getting the nomination, though.

      9 years ago at 3:59 pm
    3. SperryTheFratypus

      Kasich is the only greek in the top ten, so you gotta give him at least some support for that

      9 years ago at 5:18 pm
    4. Cactus_League

      I’d really like to see a Kasich/Rubio duo, would fare quite well against any team Hilary could muster

      9 years ago at 11:33 pm
  6. BillyQuantrill

    Trump’s appeal stems from the fact that Boehner and McConnell are absolute pussies. Taking it in the ass from Obama for six years (under threat of being called a racist) is not “measuring your words”. Obama calls all conservatives racist… meh. Obama called all conservatives misogynists… meh. That motherfucker tells the press that conservatives share “common cause” with hardline Iranians… meh. The wet noodle of a backbone called the GOP leadership gave rise to Donald Trump. That said, there’s no way in hell I’m voting for him in the primary – I’m just enjoying the ride for the present.

    9 years ago at 8:26 am
    1. FratsAndStats

      Your repetitve use of the word “meh” instantly takes away from anything you’re trying to prove

      9 years ago at 8:48 am
    2. Sir Fratinald

      Yah I agree Social Fascism is turning this country into something that really scares me

      9 years ago at 9:18 am
  7. Riley Cooper

    Rand Paul came across as a total prick in the debate, he looked awful. Bush didn’t come across as intellectual, but he was insanely likable (sound familiar). Kasich and Rubio were impressive. Rubio and Fiorina would be a dream ticket. Unbeatable.

    9 years ago at 8:36 am
  8. CougarFocus

    Keg stands for Rand! The republicans hate Rand Paul because he calls them out on their bullshit and even has evidence to back up his claims. His plans to shrink government through his flat tax plan are great and even his foreign policy that hes been highly criticized on is on point. Most younger republicans i know are all about Rand but sadly those old fucks in washington will never see it and are alienating an entire generation.

    9 years ago at 8:47 am
      1. CougarFocus

        If you replaced rands curls with marco rubios frat swoop you would have one hell of a candidate

        9 years ago at 5:13 pm
  9. Bluto_Brotarsky

    2 might be overused, but I definitely think that it’s right, at least to a certain degree. I don’t think that Trump is the best choice for the Republicans because he really can’t debate well. However, he’s saying what everyone is too damn scared to say, AND THAT’S THE REASON HE’S WINNING RIGHT NOW. Does that mean that we can’t do worse? Absolutely not. Could we do better? Hell yes. We need a person who’s just as much of a firebrand as Trump, and a person who can win in a debate (read: flaming douchery session) with a gasbag like Clinton or Sanders. Can we win by compromising? No, we cannot, because the RNC has confused compromise with giving up. Party leadership has deluded itself into thinking that the Democrats can be negotiated with in good faith. There’s my 2 cents.

    9 years ago at 8:48 am