Fraternity Member Tries To Steal Concession Stand Keg During UL Football Game, Has Flask Of Fireball, Arrested, All The Day Before Turning 21
Have yourself a damn day, Oliver Stutsman! Way to close out your pre-legal age of drinking with a bang, and a night in the clink.
Stutsman, 20 years and 364 days old, was arrested Saturday during Louisville’s home football game while trying to run off with the single most difficult item I can think of to sneakily leave a football stadium with — a keg of beer. He and a buddy attempted to steal the keg but were soon stopped by stadium police. A flask of Fireball Whiskey was found on Stutsman. He was also piss drunk.
Stutsman is an active member of Louisville’s Delta Tau Delta fraternity.
From WHAS:
Police said Stutsman worked with another man to grab the keg and leave the stadium.
They didn’t get far before they were stopped by police.
Police said he was drunk and had a flask of Fireball Whiskey in his pocket. It was the day before his 21st birthday so he’s also charged with alcohol consumption by a minor.
Attempting to steal a keg of beer is the most impulse theft imaginable. No one is premeditating a full keg of beer heist. That’s a long, slow, strenuous getaway through a herd of people. These two might as well have tried stealing one of the goal posts during the game and carried through the tunnel to a waiting friend’s truck. Chances are the same of getting away with it.
You have to admire their spirit, though. Happy birthday, Oliver!
[via WHAS]
Image via Instagram/ @louisvillecardfootball
What a nerd.
10 years ago at 1:37 pmI don’t really feel bad for the guy..
10 years ago at 1:41 pmCalmly walking out of the stadium with an entire keg TFM. Attempting to run from the police with one…just stop it
10 years ago at 1:41 pmI’m pretty sure this is just stupid any way you slice it
10 years ago at 1:45 pmNice work Oliver
10 years ago at 1:43 pmWhen your team plays the way Louisville does this all makes sense.
10 years ago at 1:44 pmIf you knew UL fans this wouldn’t be a surprise to anyone
10 years ago at 2:08 pmNot really related to this dumbassery, but does anyone (probably someone from the old guard, pre-ballocaust days) have a link to the comment from which “goofballs” originated? Reading a Dorn article always reminds me of it, and I’d ask for this in, say a forum setting, but ya know…
10 years ago at 2:49 pmhttps://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/user/fratimir_putin/?section=comments&page=6
10 years ago at 3:25 pmCan’t even lie, I nearly shed a tear trying to stop myself from laughing in class at that
10 years ago at 5:17 pmThank you sir
10 years ago at 6:27 pmYou’re a gentleman and a scholar.
In Soviet Russia, kegs stand on you.
10 years ago at 2:58 pmI remember my underage days
10 years ago at 3:47 pmJokes, no I don’t. Because I was always to intoxicated. Frat.
10 years ago at 3:47 pmJokes on you: im not the one blackballed
10 years ago at 7:01 pmYour jokes are bad! And you should feel bad! #BlackballPoloMane
10 years ago at 4:55 pmChrist, I had to check if that was a Steve Holt article. Step it up Dorn, you fucking Neanderthal
10 years ago at 4:31 pm