Everything You Missed While Drinking Your Ass Off At Tailgate: College Football Week 5 Recap
You just put in a 14-hour day crushing countless Game Day Lights on an empty stomach, asserted dominance over any fool that went even remotely close to the ladderball setup, and shamelessly finger blasted your pledge brother’s 18-year-old sister under the sign-in table. Needless to say, you had your hands full, so you undoubtedly missed what went down throughout the rest of the country. But no worries, guys. That’s what I’m here for: To spend Saturdays watching college football. Your thanks is not necessary, as I’m not in this line of work for the praise. I make the sacrifice of planting my ass firmly on the couch so people like you don’t have to — so you can go out and live the tailgate life the way tailgate life was meant to be lived. At the very least, hopefully this makes that crippling hangover today more bearable.
Week 5
College Gameday was more of a festival environment than ACL.
Clemson fans are off the chain at Game Day this morning! Hahahaha! #GetUp4GameDay pic.twitter.com/nFJLRGipyc
— David Lewis (@LewsWorld) October 3, 2015
#PrayForCharlieStrong
There’s not enough beer in the world to watch a UCF football game.
UCF down 38-10 and they are nearly out of free beer. So now wells are free! pic.twitter.com/J28wjs6L8p
— Eric Adelson (@eric_adelson) October 3, 2015
Oklahoma stomps WVU. Cue the Baker Mayfield video.
Northwestern and Iowa give Big 10 fans a false sense of conference depth.
Iowa 10, Wisconsin 6. #IOWAvsWIS pic.twitter.com/U1QSmIw6DH
— Matt Weitzel (@BigWeitz) October 3, 2015
Your weekly Danny Kanell trolling the SEC tweet.
The SEC needs to stop scheduling these OVC powerhouses …
— Danny Kanell (@dannykanell) October 4, 2015
Mark Richt’s football philosophy: never set expectations too high.
Clone this man pic.twitter.com/1XB9GjSZPX
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 3, 2015
Things are already getting heated between Alabama and Georgia (via @ByCasagrand): http://t.co/JwCGLDTNpD pic.twitter.com/E1BLLi4XHy
— SB Nation (@SBNation) October 3, 2015
We’re going to have to put up with Florida football fans for at least another two weeks until Death Valley.
#GatorTD #MISSvsUF pic.twitter.com/9FZtIGQljo
— Florida Gators (@FloridaGators) October 3, 2015
Clemson hangs on and doesn’t pull a Clemson.
Around the rest of the country.
FB: No. 17/19 Ithaca falls to Utica 30-27 in OT. Check out Ithaca Jr. Skyler Kauf's 1st career interception! #SCTop10 pic.twitter.com/jhJDDBIlsX
— Ithaca Bombers (@BomberSports) October 3, 2015
That moment when you don't have enough students in your student section to do a card stunt. pic.twitter.com/BEgPdhJy3H
— Erin Sorensen (@erinsorensen) October 3, 2015
Big 12 officials did in fact award Oklahoma St a phantom first down when it should’ve been fourth-and-four. OSU scored TD four plays later
— Jake Trotter (@Jake_Trotter) October 4, 2015
Yes! The most amped holder in the country just brought out a new celebration. Best one yet. #CampusRush pic.twitter.com/QFtjUVMyJQ
— Chris Wolff (@HashtagChrisss) October 3, 2015
#SadFansAreSad #SEC #VFL RT @BigHeadSports No words needed. pic.twitter.com/MbLxcCxVZs
— Saturday Down South (@SDS) October 4, 2015
Being the least valuable member on the team, but celebrating like you’re the most valuable. TFM
10 years ago at 1:11 pmI’m going to thank Zeke at my wedding for that OSU at IU game. That stress took a year off my life.
10 years ago at 1:14 pmFSU #1
10 years ago at 1:19 pmI’d prefer we not waste another round of the playoff on them this year.
10 years ago at 2:05 pmForum Topic: Should CFB go to a 6 or 8 game playoff?
10 years ago at 2:08 pm8. 5 Power conference champions. (Must have a conf. champ. game) and 3 wild cards.
10 years ago at 4:39 pmLost one game in the past three seasons. If you actually watched the game against Oregon most of their points came from fumble recoveries which are largely due to luck. The SEC is shit by the way
10 years ago at 5:29 pmTurnover once, it’s bad luck. Turnover 4+ times, it’s your own damn fault.
10 years ago at 6:36 pm“The SEC is shit by the way”
10 years ago at 9:59 pmBeing jealous of another conference because you know your team would get their asses kicked by most teams in said conference. TDonaldsTrumpetMove
10 years ago at 10:00 pmWe give the dick to every SEC team that we play, pal. Just ask Auburn or Florida.
10 years ago at 8:41 amUF vs. FSU
Meetings total: 59
All-time series Florida leads: 34–23–2
Largest victory Florida: 49–0
Longest streak Florida: 9
Auburn vs. FSU
Meetings Total: 19
All-time series Auburn Leads: 13-5-1
Largest victory Auburn: 57-21
Longest Streak Auburn: 9
Current SEC Teams
FLORIDA STATE vs.:
Alabama 1-2-1
Auburn 4-13-1
Florida 19-33-2
Georgia 4-6-1
Kentucky 1-4-1
LSU 7-2-0
Ole Miss 0-1-0
Mississippi State 7-2-0
Tennessee 1-1-0
Total? A Whopping 44-64-6
10 years ago at 11:28 amWell DT, I asked auburn and Florida and the noles still suck dick vs. the sec
10 years ago at 11:40 am5-0
10 years ago at 1:29 pm5-0 and getting inducted into the Hall of Fame
10 years ago at 2:02 pmNot after you play FSU
10 years ago at 5:35 pmEverett Golson couldn’t even lock down a starting role at ND, if that tells you anything about FSU.
10 years ago at 8:40 pmYou’re right, we’ll be 12-0 then.
10 years ago at 11:29 amYou missed the part where the soldier got reunited with his family at Ben Hill Griffin stadium
10 years ago at 1:33 pmYa. Not a gator fan by any means but that got me in the feels.
10 years ago at 2:25 pmhttp://uproxx.com/sports/2015/10/military-dad-surprise-homecoming-florida-gators-the-swamp/
These fucking videos get me 100% of the time. And I’m OK with that.
10 years ago at 12:14 amIt was awesome. The entire stadium was either on the verge, or was actually outright crying.
10 years ago at 6:36 pmThere’s nothing better than hearing UGA fans bitch and complain after they lose a big game. Happens year after year.
10 years ago at 1:39 pmBoth of Al Golden’s previous teams beat Cincy but the Canes didn’t. Make the U great again. #FIREALGOLDEN2015
10 years ago at 2:08 pmNavy beat Air Force where were those scorelines???
10 years ago at 2:12 pmNavy should be ranked. They will be after they smoke Notre Dame next week.
10 years ago at 8:02 amWhatever you’re on, I’ll take some.
10 years ago at 11:06 amMizzou and Navy both win this week.
10 years ago at 7:40 pmI am a high school frat star and I missed everything in college football yesterday because I was so intoxicated from drinking at the tailgate. I got ejected from the stadium after trying to hookup with a concessions lady and woke up about an hour ago with my dick stuck inside a blowup doll. It took me about 20 minutes to get it out of there because all the frerm had hardened (all the frat sperm had hardened) and turns out I am allergic to the plastic because I have a terrible rash all over my frock now. It’s okay though, because it was a TFM. Frat
10 years ago at 2:16 pmIm gonna say this the nicest way possible: please go play hopscotch in a minefield
10 years ago at 2:25 pmStop replying to his comments
10 years ago at 2:41 pmOh im sorry, i thought this was ‘Merica!
10 years ago at 4:21 pmNot the right time to use that quote.
10 years ago at 4:43 pm“That’s why your mom’s in a fucking wheelchair.”
10 years ago at 7:58 pmAh, the old furious masturbation play. Works every time.
10 years ago at 2:18 pmThey almost beat UK too he just didn’t have the stamina
10 years ago at 2:24 pm