New Oregon Uniform Has A Manifest Destiny-Themed Duck On Helmet, They’ve Officially Run Out Of Ideas

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Seeing as he’s a FIJI brother of mine, I respect Nike Founder and effective Oregon Head Football Coach/Chancellor/Dean of Students Phil Knight. The dude may look like the result of a Michael Caine and Louis C.K. sperm splicing experiment, but he sure knows how to treat his football players. From new jerseys every week to their unbelievable state-of-the-art football facility, the Oregon Ducks are far and away the most pampered pack of pigskin players in college football.

When you are just pumping out jersey designs, though, you’re gonna run out of ideas eventually — and it appears Oregon has finally hit that point.

From SB Nation:

Oregon will break out new uniforms on Saturday against Washington State, and this time, it isn’t just about different colors. The Ducks will be wearing uniforms called “Oregon Pioneers” by Nike, which are intended to honor the history of the state of Oregon.

Each jersey will have a unique topographical map featuring a different part of the state. The helmet, seen above, includes 1800s American frontier explorers Lewis and Clark (and The Duck) pointing westward, and the back has a 33-star flag, the number the United States flag had for two years after Oregon joined the union.

Check these things out. They look like someone took all the worst ideas from the Oregon state quarter brainstorming session (keeping the silver color for continuity’s sake) and vomited them onto fabric. The duck alongside Lewis and Clark gets me every time. It’s terribly inaccurate, too — those dudes were so famished they would have killed and eaten that little turd before he could even get his wing halfway to pointing position.

Respect the past. Win the Day. The @usnikefootball Mach Speed "Pioneer" uniform. #GoDucks

A photo posted by Oregon Ducks (@goducks) on

Back to the drawing board.

[via SB Nation]

Image via Instagram

    1. AEW_360

      It’s better than a Homestead Act chicken but not quite as flashy as a Louisiana Purchase turkey

      10 years ago at 11:59 am
      1. Strong F. Kennedy

        Well I assumed that was given. Can’t think of many things much better than a Louisiana purchase turkey

        10 years ago at 12:01 pm
      2. TSMTechGuy

        The Seward’s Folly S’kimos really brought Alaska to the spotlight until they were deemed “ethnically insensitive”

        10 years ago at 6:28 pm
  1. GoliadSpecial

    The head designer for Nike is out with dysentery. That’s the only explanation for these

    10 years ago at 12:11 pm
  2. Antebellum_Fratting

    I for one am choosing to believe that this is an intentional nod back to the days when America still pushed borders and boundaries and encouraged badass men like Lewis and Clark. Or what you said. Idk anymore.

    10 years ago at 12:12 pm
  3. ThePatternIsFull

    Finally, someone agrees that Oregon has taken the whole uniform thing out of hand

    10 years ago at 12:17 pm
  4. Fratasaurus

    Manifest Destiny is FaF… unfortunately most of the football players probably think Lewis and Clark are a bunch of useless old dead white men.

    10 years ago at 12:21 pm
    1. ImHereForTheGangbang

      Most of them probably think Lewis & Clark is an old syndicated TV show about Superman starring Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher.

      10 years ago at 4:54 pm
  5. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

    What about Oregon Trail themed Jerseys, and at halftime you die of dysentery

    10 years ago at 12:35 pm
    1. FratPoppa

      “You’ve lost Coach Kelly who has subsequently lost his mind. Lose three years of bowl eligibility for employing an adult named Chip.”

      10 years ago at 3:16 pm
    1. Booze_Hound

      You’re not alone. This site used to cherish patriotism and our nation’s history. Now, to appease their sponsors they’ve become liberal and sold themselves to the masses.

      10 years ago at 12:41 pm
  6. TacBRO_Bell

    Just like y’all have run out of ideas for articles to post. Bring back campus cop.

    10 years ago at 12:44 pm
  7. zspot13

    I can’t imagine Manifest Destiny pulling in recruits if they can hardly spell it.

    10 years ago at 4:03 pm