Texas’ Beloved Longhorn Bevo Suffers Life-Threatening Condition, Will Not Make Texas-OU Game
10 years ago

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For a football program with so much history and prestige, the University of Texas squad has been a mess for years now and it’s not getting any better. It’s getting so bad that Longhorns mascot Bevo can’t take it anymore.

Bevo XIV, Texas’ mascot since 2004, has reportedly been stricken with a life-threatening condition and will not make the trip to Saturday’s Red River Showdown against Oklahoma.

Is it a heart attack after the countless Longhorns losses? Is it an aneurysm from the consistently awful quarterback play? Is it herpes?!

We’re not sure.

The school released a statement Wednesday, reading, “Bevo is a fighter, a symbol of strength and who fans across the world care deeply about. We are carefully monitoring Bevo’s condition at this time and will update the public as we find out more about his condition.”

This is Bevo’s 12th season with the team and I feel sorry for him if these are his last memories.

The Longhorns won 25 of the first 26 games Bevo came to. Overall, the team is 106-41 under Bevo’s reign and have appeared in two national championship games, as well as the Rose Bowl, the Fiesta Bowl, and other bowl games.

But since 2010, the Texas program has been a complete dumpster fire. The Mack Brown era is over, but the Charlie Strong era isn’t looking much better. They’ve put Bevo through five lackluster seasons so far, and the 2015 campaign is off to a 1-4 start.

Get well soon, sweet prince.

[via Texas Sports]

Image via YouTube

  3. FrayettevilleLegend

    I just want to take this time to stand up for the Indiana ATO’s. TFM posted a slanderous article and took away any chance for rebuttal by removing the comments. Now, I don’t know who those guys were or what actually happened. For the sake of argument though let’s assume that the accusations are accurate. So what? Part of the pledging process is learning how to be a gentleman. Gentlemen munch box. What better way to teach this lesson than buy hiring a professional trainer? I think these kids should appreciate this free instruction.

    Secondly, don’t feminists say sucking dick is degrading? Now don’t give me any women’s rights BS. these men were willingly degrading themselves to pleasure those ladies. Thats PC as fuck.
    Serving the community and being a gentleman. Get these guys a fucking award.

    10 years ago at 9:46 am
    1. GregoryMcCoy

      This comment is the GOAT, you left no stone unturned and for that you get my applaud. And I really don’t get why we don’t just use these shitty articles they post to talk about other things? I mean we could run our own forums in the comment section.. #JustBrainstorming

      10 years ago at 10:00 am
      1. FrayettevilleLegend

        Greg, you make a good point. These worthless articles that infect 80% of this website serve no other value. Perhaps Steve Holt’s purpose on this Earth was to provide an alternative realm for the forums.

        10 years ago at 10:02 am
      2. StupidLiberal

        Motion to use Steve Holt articles as a place for impromptu forums?

        This is how I see things playing out, considering the closing of comments for the ATO box munch article. They would likely disable comments for Steve holt articles, we would then have to say “fuck you steve” somewhere else. Not the worst thing ever.

        Logically that would lead us to posting forum topics on other posts. You can probably see where this is going. If we posted forum topics on each post they wouldn’t just disable the entire comment section for everything would they? Or would that force them into bringing back the forums?

        Or am I just drunk and need to get off the shitter? Out of paper..

        10 years ago at 4:59 pm
      3. GregoryMcCoy

        We just keep going with it no matter what, we have the power in numbers, they will soon realize that and get the forums back, and if not then we keep bouncing from shitty article to shitty article which won’t be hard because the articles haven’t been the greatest lately.

        10 years ago at 5:52 pm
  7. Arkanfrat

    Good. Tuck Fexas. Beating Bebo’s ass last year was borderline erotic…but watching them get destroyed weekly this year is full blown sexual. I say Strong just needs more time…

    10 years ago at 5:43 pm
  9. ScottyDoesntKnow

    And in another twist of fate, TAMU will probably be the only one that came save him.

    10 years ago at 7:37 am