Thanks To Iowa Fans, We Now Know It Is Possible To Drink A Bar Out Of Beer
Iowa lost a heartbreaker to Michigan State Saturday night. Watching their perfect season fall to the shocking second-effort touchdown by Michigan State’s LJ Scott hurt. It was different to watch the game from my perspective, though. I was sober. Sitting on my ass and shoveling handfuls of Fritos into my mouth was quite the opposite of what most Iowa fans were doing at the time.
If the reports are accurate, many of them should’ve been struggling to stand upright. Now, that’s not always a horrible problem to have when your team goes down in that fashion, but the amount of alcohol they allegedly drank before the game even began is quite impressive.
We saw worries that LSU fans would drink Syracuse dry earlier this season. Those fears never materialized, but Iowa fans weren’t afraid to go all in, and they literally depleted the largest stock of beer in the city of Indianapolis before their game even began.
Sources: Cadillac Ranch sold out of beer. They placed the largest beer & liquor order in Indiana this week. Hawk fans are not messing around
— Michael Admire (@Admire_OnAir) December 5, 2015
@c_krieps GM there bragged "we bought more than 200 cases of Bud Light." Me: "that's good. How many do you plan on having tomorrow?"
— Michael Admire (@Admire_OnAir) December 5, 2015
Only 200 cases? Fucking amateurs. It’s not surprising, though. Iowa invaded and soaked up any alcohol in their general vicinity.
If you're in Indy and you're not at the Cadillac Ranch, get down here now! #OnIowa #TakeOver pic.twitter.com/B0uiJFvEkO
— Hawkeye Hulk (@HawkeyeSteve75) December 5, 2015
Woo!!! Hawkeye tailgate at Cadillac Ranch!! #downtownindy pic.twitter.com/MkuXjXeq4k
— Aaron Holm (@physedhawk) December 5, 2015
If you’re not impressed by that, you haven’t spent much time in a bar. As a professional degenerate, I can attest that drinking out a bar’s entire supply of beer is no small achievement. And, sadly, after the game Saturday, that’s the only achievement the Hawkeyes will be bringing back to Iowa City..
Image via Twitter
What else is there to do in Iowa but drink beer. These guys have practice
10 years ago at 9:44 amAs an Iowan, I can confirm.
10 years ago at 10:19 am“As an Iowan” might be the saddest possible combination of three words.
10 years ago at 10:29 am“As a liberal” *
10 years ago at 10:45 am“As an Iowan” still can translate to “As an American” so I don’t think it’s sad at all.
10 years ago at 10:46 amYou’re right and I’m a dick. Sorry Iowa.
10 years ago at 11:43 amDoes that mean that the Dakotas have the heaviest boozers?
10 years ago at 10:23 amStatistics actually say yes to that. The Dakotas have the heaviest binge drinkers
10 years ago at 11:27 amAt least they got something going for them
10 years ago at 11:32 amThat’s not even 2 pallets of beer, fraternities have made larger purchases than that at Sam’s clubs.
10 years ago at 9:44 amBunch of prudes in central Indiana
10 years ago at 7:13 pmTitle of article was more exciting than the article itself.
3/10 wouldn’t read again
10 years ago at 9:46 amTypical bogey for ya.
10 years ago at 11:23 amIowa bars need to stock up on more beer.
10 years ago at 9:47 amThe game was in Indiana, buddy.
10 years ago at 10:33 amThis is why my old ship isn’t allowed in Vladivostok anymore. Goddamn Commies.
10 years ago at 9:54 amBud light. NF
10 years ago at 10:05 am*Bud Light Lime. NF
10 years ago at 11:40 amAs an Iowan and a huge Iowa fan this is the only happiness I have from Saturday…
10 years ago at 10:34 amThat’s it, a single bar? Sigs usually make the whole town go dry when BLTW comes around!
10 years ago at 10:36 amSick man
10 years ago at 10:47 amBeen there, done that. Go Cougs.
https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/washington-state-cougs-claim-they-drank-auburn-bar-out-of-beer-are-beer-drinking-champions/
10 years ago at 10:54 amDamn, beat me to it.
10 years ago at 11:11 amReminds me of when WSU fans ran every keg dry at an Auburn bar before the opener in 2013. Go cougs.
10 years ago at 11:11 am