Did You Know Baltimore Ravens Kicker Justin Tucker Has The Voice Of A Fucking Angel?

Former Westlake Chap, Texas Longhorn, and current Baltimore Ravens place-kicking extraordinaire Justin Tucker is no one-trick pony, it turns out. Tucker, a top three kicker in the league, has a set of pipes on him that’ll put asses in the seats. Below is a video of him putting those pipes on display and I assume making every pair of panties in the building catch on fire.

He’s got his coat buttoned so I don’t know for sure, but my money says Tuck is working with a cummerbund under there. Suspenders are for children and people who rent tuxes. Dude’s all class.

For those of you asking yourself what the hell a Westlake Chap is, the Chaparral is the mascot of Westlake High School, where Tucker attended. It’s also about a 3-wood away from TFM Headquarters.

I can’t help but be a little annoyed that Tucker hasn’t asked me to hang out yet. Even if he lives in Baltimore full time, his parents are most likely Westlake lifers. I probably stood behind his mom in line at Starbs this morning. You have to think he’s spending at least part of the offseason here.

Come on, man. Holler at me one time. We’ll have you come into the office and get the TSM staff all horned up with that angelic voice then have you just kick random objects from around the office at the Intern’s dick. It will be a blast, I promise you. Don’t big-league me, dude.

Image via Twitter/ @Ravens

    1. GlennjaminButton

      If you’re talking about your fantasy team, nobody cares. If you’re talking about the Ravens, less than nobody cares.

      10 years ago at 2:55 pm
    1. SteveHoltOnDrugs

      Having “a set of pipes on him that’ll put [8 year old] asses in the [van] seats.” TdornM

      10 years ago at 6:55 am
  1. Texas Tux and Oil

    Not gonna lie he’s got a beautiful voice.

    That being said, Austin let Grandex put their headquarters that close to a school?

    10 years ago at 2:59 pm
    1. SteveHoltOnDrugs

      It’s a high school. They wanted to be close to their target demographic.

      10 years ago at 7:00 am
      1. BrocialNetworker

        Was buds with him in college. Dude started dating one of the hottest Zetas like two weeks into freshman year and been with her ever since. Married to her with a kid, now. One of the most stand-up guys I knew at UT.

        10 years ago at 11:16 pm
  2. CottonGin

    What does dorn do when he wants to go after teenage boys? Talks like a teenage girl and says shit like “starbs” instead of Starbucks.

    10 years ago at 3:04 pm