Random People Revealed Their Best Drunken Accomplishments And They Are Impressive
Everyone has their greatest drunken accomplishments that they feel compelled to share with each other.
Me? I get belligerently drunk, scour this great site called Reddit dot com, and bring you guys tons of extremely GoodContent™. It’s what I’m absolutely most proud of and I’ll be telling my grandkids all about the days when Grandpa was a legend in the digital age. By then, they will all be trust fund brats from the money I invested out of my Grandex Writers pension.
Thanks to ~random~ internet strangers, we can copy other people’s drunk accomplishments.
From Reddit:
Drunk me decided to send a private message via linked in to one of my contacts about a job sober me was very interested in. However sober me felt we weren’t totally qualified or ready for it. Sober me took no actions. Drunk me felt totally qualified, and my confident drunk message got me the interview which later translated into an offer.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take — drunk or sober.
Signed up for classes and went back to school.
This kid was drunk for a long time. Probably still is.
I ordered pizza for the morning. I then fell asleep and was woken up by the pizza delivery guy at 11am.
Best breakfast ever.
This might be the greatest idea I’ve ever heard.
Wore a condom.
Always think with your head. No one has time for a baby.
Order shit online.
I don’t remember ordering fifty bags of beef jerky, but I enjoyed it.
If you hate beef jerky then fuck you.
When I was drunk at a get together my buddy asked me not to sleep with this girl who was coming on to me because he had liked her for a long time. I apparently took this as a challenge and got extremely shit faced. I was a total ass and she stopped talking to me. A few months later they were engaged and now have a baby. Drunk me is a good bro.
Best wingman in the history of wingmen.
Started an amateur porn company in my garage called BrownHole Productions and made apparently 3 movies all of which I didn’t remember until the next day when my cousin showed me the videos
BrownHole Productions might need to make a comeback in the porn world. I’d watch. Think we have a winner.
Decided to sleep it off instead of drive home.
Good choice, drunk me.
Just kidding. NOW we have a winner. Don’t drive drunk.
To read more of this thread and some of the awesome replies, click HERE..
[via Reddit]
Your mother’s worst drunken accomplishment is you.
10 years ago at 12:17 pm“He’s in a lot better shape than those fuckin’ nuns you got up there.”
10 years ago at 4:31 amI long for this to be a website that curates original and humerus content. Quit shitting out Reddit posts.
10 years ago at 12:21 pm“Humerus”
10 years ago at 12:27 pmI saw my mistake, thanks.
10 years ago at 12:38 pmNot everybody reads a hundred blogs. I appreciate you posting the good ones on here, Pussy Steve
10 years ago at 12:30 pmCopying and saving from reddit is technically curating, so your wish came true.
10 years ago at 1:05 pm
10 years ago at 12:43 amGoose is the best wingman in the history of wingmen, cocksucker.
10 years ago at 12:22 pmThanks for paraphrasing yesterday’s top thread. I really needed to read the same shit over again.
10 years ago at 12:22 pmDrunk me once made a free throw.
10 years ago at 12:25 pmGot super drunk, texted a girl to come over, forgot i had texted her and texted another one to come over, both show up, they were pledge class sisters. Now, I could go ahead and said I had a threesome and it was amazing, but unfortunately this isn’t a porn story so it went all the other way around and ended up banned from their sorority and hated by more girls than I would like to acknowledge.
10 years ago at 12:31 pmWere they slim-thick?
10 years ago at 12:36 pmDid they have a cute ass?
10 years ago at 3:20 pmAIDS*
10 years ago at 3:20 pmGood job, good effort though.
10 years ago at 12:40 pmGood intention, bad execution
10 years ago at 4:17 pmI appreciate your honesty Theta
10 years ago at 8:28 amIt’s only drunken drive if you dont get caght.
10 years ago at 12:32 pm&do get caght.*
10 years ago at 12:33 pm*
10 years ago at 12:35 pmYou’re drunk right now aren’t you?
10 years ago at 12:38 pmWikipedia pepperoni pizza.
10 years ago at 12:40 pmI want to throw a steamy pile of shit at your stupid monkey face.
10 years ago at 12:42 pmI have written several papers drunk and then let sober me proof read them.
10 years ago at 12:39 pmthanks for the insight, Hemingway
10 years ago at 1:04 pm“Write drunk, edit sober.” is in fact a THemingwayM
10 years ago at 2:11 pmBrownHole Productions. TFM.
10 years ago at 1:28 pmWalking back to the dorms freshman year, when I come across some woman begging me to get her baby daddy away from her. Dude’s just asking for a ride because he hit the curb and it fucked up his wheel. I get her to go home after I realize that she’s just going to call the cops if this goes on any longer, and then I bend back the bolts for his wheel and put the spare on as best as possible.
I still wonder if he made it back to downtown Orlando with that shitty wheel change. At the very least I ended a domestic dispute, and thats a drunken accomplishment on its own.
10 years ago at 2:07 pmOr the wheel came off going 80 and he’s dead in a ditch somewhere. Either or
10 years ago at 5:24 pm