New Website Tracks Mizzou’s Frequent Embarrassments, School Can’t Last 3 Days
This past week, Mizzou has made the headlines for all the wrong reasons. There was professor Melissa Click’s assault charge, former UM President Tim Wolfe’s email burning every bridge in sight, quarterback Maty Mauk’s leaked substance snorting vid, Click’s suspension, Mauk’s suspension, the student government electing a president and vice president that immediately were forced to resign, and then the dismissal of Mauk. Hell of a week, fellas.
The times are so dismal at the University of Missouri that someone created a “count up” ticker tracking the days since the last embarrassing event happened at Mizzou. Thanks to MissouriTigers.com, I knew I started writing this article 4 hours, 8 minutes and 23 seconds after Mauk got dismissed from the Missouri football team. Well done, all around.
According to the website, Mizzou’s longest record without an embarrassment is 2 days, 16 hours, 12 seconds set on January 25 – 27, 2016. I know that sounds short, but let’s start with baby steps here.
The shortest? A whopping four hours.
I’m not sure what’s scarier here — the fact the Tigers are embarrassing themselves so frequently or that the missouritigers.com domain name was still available. I give it a week before it turns into a breeding ground for midget porn.
They say it’s always darkest before the dawn, but things don’t look too bright in Columbia right now, and I don’t see that changing for a while.
Mizzou, for one week, please stop fucking up. Please..
Image via YouTube
lol @ Bacon
10 years ago at 4:43 pm#Ali4MsUSA
10 years ago at 1:09 amI heard ATO and Jack Skinner are the most frat things at Mizzou. Don’t forget about CoopDawg
10 years ago at 1:55 amAt this point, Mizzou is the Pike of the academic world.
10 years ago at 4:44 pmnot quite TKE yet?
10 years ago at 5:11 pmDon’t you dare say Mizzou is the Jeb 2016 of the Academic world! Don’t you Dare!
10 years ago at 7:04 pmPretty sure you were the only one who said it chief.
10 years ago at 8:23 pmrowdy geb is the funniest name to date.
10 years ago at 1:47 amI disagree.
10 years ago at 10:59 amWe’ve been saying this for 150 years at Kansas. mizzou is a plague to our Great Nation. I pray nightly that the people that reside in the meth infused city of Columbia be put out of their “miz-ery”. Fuck mizzou and the state it represents #trash
10 years ago at 5:37 pmI do enjoy watching that community college fail though…
10 years ago at 5:40 pmI’m embarrassed for you. Motion to start over count up ticker?
10 years ago at 6:12 pmPeople from Kansas have no room to talk.
10 years ago at 6:33 pmAre you really talking shit about Missouri’s football program? Take care of your 0-12 failed abortion of a football team first before talking shit about other teams.
10 years ago at 7:29 pmwhat about state, ya jackass
10 years ago at 8:47 amRiots, Rams, and Rails!
Keep up the good work, Mizzou!
10 years ago at 8:29 pmMaybe if they stopped letting shitbag people into their staff and student body this wouldn’t happen?
10 years ago at 10:16 pmThe entire fiasco at mizzooo can be laid at the feet of the Black LIES matter movement. Several organizers that sponsored the looting and burning of Ferguson assisted with the fabricated event at mizZOO. This is all about power for what is a Black Klan supremacy movement and it seems to be working because of the complicit people that are in charge. PATHETIC AND EMBARRASSING, but hey, Black crime matters too.
10 years ago at 1:45 pm