Was Jordan Spieth’s Masters Collapse Caused By…Aliens?
Anyone who witnessed Jordan Spieth’s historic meltdown on the 12th hole at Augusta National on Sunday can tell you that it was surprising, to say the least. Into the water and then back into the water? If he’d put his ball into the water one more time and then thrown his club in after it while crying and proclaiming he “wasn’t even trying,” he would’ve looked like me out there. So was it unexpected from the dude who had just led seven straight Masters rounds? Yes. But was it… supernatural?
From Golf Digest:
In the aftermath of Sunday’s train wreck, people are searching for answers. How could a player that looked so dominant fall apart so quickly? Was it nerves? Injury? Miscommunication with his caddie? According to one line of reasoning, the issue wasn’t with the two-time major winner.
The blunder at the 12th hole was caused…by an alien.
Here’s the video that some people are claiming contains the alien activity.
I’m not sure if the theory goes that the little flying sphere is an alien spacecraft itself or that the object in question was merely a distraction sent by watching aliens to disrupt Jordan’s rhythm. But if we leave both of those possibilities open, it increases the chances that the alien theory is true, so let’s do that.
As somebody who has been anally probed by aliens, I need this theory to be true. Nobody believes my story as it stands, and if a high profile alien case like this is proven true, maybe I’ll finally start getting some respect around here. A boy can hope..
[via Golf Digest]
Image via YouTube
Yes because the aliens grabbed his club and made him hit it fat
9 years ago at 11:22 amI try not to associate myself this far down the comment section, but was this intended to be funny?
9 years ago at 12:09 pmThe article has only been up for an hour so you didn’t scroll down far at all and no I meant my comment literally
9 years ago at 12:18 pmwhat
9 years ago at 12:42 pmBlaming anything possible for a bad round. TFM
9 years ago at 11:31 amYou probably enjoyed being probed by the aliens.
9 years ago at 11:35 amIt’s ghosts. Better get those geeds from Travel Channel to come and do a lockdown on Augusta National.
9 years ago at 11:47 amDo not taint that sacred ground with those fuckers.
9 years ago at 11:55 amAnal probing. TFM #ButtStuff2016
9 years ago at 12:03 pmJared, you ever think about giving some of your coworkers some advice? I enjoy your articles simply due to the fact that you realize you work for a high-end satire website and your writing shows that. Maybe tell Bacon he isn’t the next JJ Abrams and he definitely doesn’t have a face for the camera. Or maybe tell Dorn his attempts to write serious articles or be funny are sad and pathetic. Thanks.
9 years ago at 12:21 pm“high end”
9 years ago at 1:08 pmIlluminati confirmed.
9 years ago at 12:41 pmI don’t see the grounds crew member in the video.
9 years ago at 1:07 pmI was there. not aliens.
9 years ago at 1:16 pmDidn’t you die after boogie nights?
9 years ago at 4:14 pmNumber 12 made me drink a few more than I should have on a Sunday afternoon
9 years ago at 1:16 pm