Kids Are Out There Snorting Cacao Powder, So We Gave It A Try

cacao

That’s right, apparently raw cacao powder is quickly becoming a new party drug in clubs around the world. Its popularity has spread across the pond from Western Europe, where it was being used in place of good old cocaine.

From Maxim:

Apparently, when ingested, cacao releases a flood of serotonin and endorphins in your brain, making you feel energetic and euphoric, while the magnesium it contains relaxes your muscles and relieves tension, for a delightful full-body “high.” Well, that certainly explains a lot about Willy Wonka.

“Raw cacao is also chock-full of flavanols that increase blood circulation and stimulate brain power, according to a recent study from the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition,” says an article in OZY. So yeah, who needs molly when you can just get tanked from snorting cocoa powder?

These kids are doing the darnedest things. My next logical step was to round up our own Alex Buscemi and give this a try ourselves, for journalistic integrity and whatnot. You can purchase raw cacao at your local grocery store, so acquiring it was the easiest part. Once we got back home, we drew a few lines of the cacao on the table and snorted them. One thing I noted is that it made everything smell like chocolate for the next half hour. Other than my heart rate increasing slightly, I didn’t notice much at all in the way of physical effects. All in all, it was a letdown.

So do I recommend that kids snort lines of cacao? No, it doesn’t work for shit. Perhaps they should try freebasing it instead.

[via Maxim]

Image via YouTube

  1. ProfessorFratsworth

    Know that you sunk so low as to try to get high off of chocolate. Let that sit with you.

    9 years ago at 3:28 pm
    1. DornFromMajorLeague

      Is there enough oxygen way up there on your high horse you fucking Melvin?

      9 years ago at 3:34 pm
      1. ProfessorFratsworth

        really? that’s being on a high horse? damn you guys set the bar pretty low.

        9 years ago at 3:46 pm
      1. CreightonFratStar

        The lax national championship was on TV earlier and was actually very entertaining from the standpoint of someone who has never watched/played the sport.

        9 years ago at 5:46 pm
      2. Deadbeat_Dad

        Had to blow town. Your mom wouldn’t let me practice drums in the garage, chicks right?

        9 years ago at 8:48 pm
  2. GodHatesFigs

    I feel like if Boosh or DeVry Guy had written it, this would have been an actual article, filmed and documented. Instead of a couple paragraphs that weren’t funny at all. DeVry Guy could have done like 2 pages and 6 vines on this and it would have been hilarious. Disappointing to say the least.

    9 years ago at 4:29 pm
  3. laxrules12345

    If ur gonna snort something just go balls to the wall and do Coke. Stop messin around with this pussy shit.

    9 years ago at 4:39 pm
    1. YaBoiJizzle

      I like skittles, it’s all the rage…TFM article coming next week on it 5:1 odds in Vegas

      9 years ago at 12:17 pm