The Secrets To Improving Your Game With Girls, From A Female Perspective
One of my favorite pastimes is listening to my guy friends’ failed sexual conquests. Although the names and situations have changed over the years, one factor always remains the same: Guys are absolutely clueless when it comes to flirting. However, instead of the problems you used to face in high school (such as being the socially awkward dweeb who couldn’t say “hey” to an attractive female without stuttering), now your problem is the exact opposite: You talk to girls too well.
You know what to say to get in a girl’s pants because you know what we want to hear. The only problem with your “tried and true game plan” is that you’re basing that knowledge off of the girls that you ultimately don’t want. How do you know when you need to send a girl packing before you ever let her find out where you live? They believe your bullshit lies too easily.
Sure this makes the chase easier, but then they end up clinging to your dick like your jizz is a cure for their crazy. And at the end of the day, being boycotted by her just as bat shit insane sorority sisters isn’t worth the almost three minutes of mediocre sex. You call her a crazy bitch, she calls you an asshole, and at the end of the day, no one wins.
I’m not saying stop lying to girls because that’s never going to happen. I’m saying when you lie about something that could not possibly be true, every sane girl won’t believe it. People lie all the time; that’s part of the hookup game. Honestly, we wouldn’t survive without it. But there becomes a point where it goes too far.
For example, it’s definitely a good idea for you tell a girl her communications major sounds “really interesting,” or that you’re “really busy so you don’t have that much experience socializing with her sorority” — when in reality you’ve made your rounds in every pledge class. This is all considered “reasonable lying” and is to be expected, just like when she tells you she doesn’t mind giving blow jobs or that you’re only the fifth guy she’s slept with. You know, the lies that you prefer to hear.
But when you say things such as “you’re as beautiful as a model” when she’s barely pushing a soft 7, or that she’s the only one in her friend group you’d even consider sleeping with, you’re fucking yourself over. Every logical girl, or any girl who truly doesn’t want to be in a relationship, is immediately creeped out.
Ultimately, this leaves behind only the girls who actually believe it. Those girls include the girls who were in a committed relationship for their entire time in high school, have super conservative parents, or just very recently got skinny. They’re naive and desperate for male attention, rendering them a vulnerable and easy target.
This also means they have about a 100% chance of burning your stuff and referring to you as their asshole ex-boyfriend who lied about her being special, when, in reality, you never even dated. The girls who want to be treated like a girlfriend are the girls who want you to be their boyfriend — no exceptions. Go out there and conquer, but for the love of God, stop putting your dick in crazy..
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TL;DR girls are crazy so use a fake name and never take them to your place.
9 years ago at 10:39 amThat’s why I always go with the name “Bennet Covington” and fuck them behind an Applebee’s.
9 years ago at 10:48 amEver try that with Taco Bell?
9 years ago at 10:53 amI find that the dorito dust left on my fingers isn’t as pleasurable for her as you might imagine.
9 years ago at 10:56 amFrabst, we are always on the same page.
9 years ago at 4:33 pmIt takes butt stuff to another level.
9 years ago at 9:45 pmTits. Show them.
9 years ago at 10:42 amBut crazy lets you do butt stuff.
9 years ago at 10:45 amI like the team change. TFM’s commenters are way nicer anyway.
9 years ago at 10:50 amJk they all have tiny peepees
9 years ago at 10:55 amYou would like switching teams.
9 years ago at 10:56 amI’m hoping that if TFM readers see enough articles written by women, “feminism” will win the NF bracket. I’ve got money on it.
9 years ago at 11:17 amKeep doing you. Big fan of your work. your columns are alright too
9 years ago at 11:35 amThanks, Kramer. I’m just trying to infiltrate grandex one site at a time
9 years ago at 10:49 pmYou guys fucking?
9 years ago at 11:32 amOnly semi regularly
9 years ago at 2:27 amWhat the fuck was the shit
9 years ago at 10:52 amYour talking about stuff, why? I’d rather see your titties.
9 years ago at 10:53 amWomen are stupid and I don’t respect them. That’s right, I just have sex with ’em
9 years ago at 10:58 amThe hopefully 3 minutes of mediocre sex is totally worth it.
9 years ago at 11:19 amGreat. Now know what would have made this article actually interesting? If you attached a pictures of your tits
9 years ago at 12:45 pmI read the first three paragraphs of your incoherent rambling then stopped. My guy friends tell me stories of failing with girls but girls are dumb but boys are dumb and they should be dumb and guys should tell lies…god damnit just stop. Please.
9 years ago at 4:49 pm