Tennessee Tech TKE Members Catch Dumb Thief Trying To Rob Them
An unbelievable moron was arrested after trying to rob a fraternity house on Thursday morning.
From The Citizen Herald:
Shawn T. Lamberson, of Phillips Drive, was charged with aggravated burglary in connection with the incident.
Cookeville Police Officer Christian Smith said he responded to the Tau Kappa Epsilon fraternity in response to a stolen lawn mower.
Cookeville, Tennessee, the seat of Putnam County and home of such distinguished institutions as Tennessee Tech and Mister Waynes School of Unisex Hair Design, is a sleepy community of 30,000 not generally known for an epidemic of lawn and garden equipment theft.
Lambertson pulled into the TKE house parking lot very early Thursday morning (which in cop language usually means around two in the morning) and basically tried to roll the mower right into his car.
Obviously, Lambertson knows nothing about fraternities, because if he did, he’d realize that we traditionally get thirsty and two in the morning marks the beginning of peak nighttime activity for the week.
TKE members rolled into the parking lot, saw the dumbass trying to steal their mower, and ordered him to stop. Lambertson got scared and tried to gun his car to freedom, only to immediately crash into a gate at the back of the parking lot, where TKE members restrained him until the cops came.
It’s hard to know what Lambertson was thinking when he decided to poke the bear, but a message to all other asshole thieves who eye the glittering frat palaces of America and want to tempt their luck:
You are assaulting a fortress. My fraternity house is my castle, and my brothers are an army that will defend that castle. We spend our days fighting and wrestling each other for fun, we all have a set of golf clubs in our room, and most of us are usually a few shots in anytime after 5 PM on Wednesday. Messing with us is a bad idea.
We are not a soft target, and we’ll get you every time. Stick to shoplifting from KMart.
Good job TKEs..
[via
The Citizen Herald]
Image via Twitter/@TKETech
In other news, an unbelievable moron was seen attempting to write a TFM article with little to no avail.
9 years ago at 12:39 pmThis is probably the dumbest of subjects to write an article on
9 years ago at 12:55 pmSo fraternity related content on a fraternity website is a bad thing?
9 years ago at 1:09 pmWhat do you expect? He’s a Pike
9 years ago at 1:48 pmFucking Pikes
9 years ago at 3:18 pmFuck Pike
9 years ago at 3:38 pmSo long before some liberal rag spins this into “Elitist Racist Group Stifles Ambitious Young Man’s Entrepeneurial Spirit”?
9 years ago at 1:17 pm*how long…whatever, y’all know what I meant.
9 years ago at 1:18 pm“Fraternity Members Assault and Kidnap Local Man, Activists Tell Huffington Post”
9 years ago at 3:26 pmHell if that last paragraph didn’t make me smile a bit as it reminded me of the TFM articles of old
9 years ago at 1:39 pmId roll up on any tfm writers house and jack their shit. Dont act tough pussy lipped N1GGER
9 years ago at 8:02 pmWords can’t describe how bad I’d want to be able to meet you in person and beat you to near-death, but I don’t hit mentally handicapped children so, oh well.
9 years ago at 5:18 amIll say it again: you live in texas, you are poor.
9 years ago at 6:10 amYeah and you’re doing the state of Alabama suuuch credit towards their stereotypes. Congratulations on filtering all the lead out of the local water supply by drinking it.
9 years ago at 11:55 amI dont live in bama you dumb spic.LMFAO
9 years ago at 3:35 pm“Good job” and “TKE” in the same sentence? That’s a first.
9 years ago at 6:37 pm“That TKE did a good job at hiding all of those dildos in his cargo shorts.”
9 years ago at 6:49 amTry that at more than a few houses and the brother who “doesn’t have a gun in his room” would go and get the gun out of his room.
9 years ago at 8:36 pmI’ve alway held the belief that fraternities are some of the hardest places to rob if your stealing something bigger than a plaque
9 years ago at 9:35 pm