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- Copious amounts of beer
- Matches
- Fire Extinguisher(s)
- First Aid Kit (should be in every room of house for easy access)
- Various pastas
- Expired condiments
- Expired condoms, you dirty dogs
- Enough E-Z Mac to feed a small village
- Soup that was bought for cooking but is now eaten straight from the can
- 1What might be either chunky cola or dip spit (mouth Coke)
- One skunked Shock Top from May 2008
- A head of dead lettuce
- Frozen pizzas
- Pizza rolls
- Pizza pockets
- Jon’s Bagel Bites that some asshole keeps eating (sorry, Jon)
- A secret stash of aged bourbon
- A secret stash of Nazi gold
- Ice cream in the freezer — no variations of mint allowed
- One box of Popeye’s in the fridge (rotate every three days)
- A dead ficus. How fake plants die, we’ll never know
- Habberford’s whey protein (purely for show)
- Water bong under the sink
- Beer bong in the sink
- Utensils (spatula, forks, bottle openers, etc.)
- Random cosmetics
- A countertop TV stuck on Bravo
- Tablet that only goes to Pinterest
- One to four bottles of cheap-ish wine
- A woman, because God knows you can’t cook for shit.
You’re better than lists, Karl.
8 years ago at 10:45 amI’m really not
8 years ago at 10:58 amRandom cosmetics? Could you elaborate?
8 years ago at 1:32 pmIt’s called a set-up, chief.
8 years ago at 2:33 pmSo you just went into your kitchen and made a list of the things you have in there? Hey I can do that! Things Your Fraternity Should Have in the Bathroom: soap, toilet paper, towels, shampoo, razors, toilet, sink, shower, condoms (new and used), mildew, mold, soap scum… Yeah I think I can do this…
8 years ago at 11:41 amWell I’ve already got the pizza pockets and nazi gold, is that a good start?
8 years ago at 1:07 pmKarl go to Moe’s and watch the game.
8 years ago at 1:16 pm