Drunk Texas A&M Girl Crashes Into Cop Car While Taking Topless Selfie
People do crazy things for love. And by “for love” I of course mean “to get someone to do it with them.”
From the Houston Chronicle:
Bryan Police Officer John Sartell was responding to a disturbance call in the area when he heard “a vehicle braking hard,” and he saw a gray Acura SUV crash into his parked patrol car, the affidavit states. Sartell said he found Rader in the gray Acura, with the airbags deployed, and she was not wearing a shirt.
“I asked her why she was not dressed while driving and she stated that she was taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at the red light,” Sartell said in the affidavit, adding that Rader had on an unclasped bra and was attempting to put on a black blouse when the officer approached her vehicle.
Sartell said in the affidavit that Rader told him she had an open bottle of wine in the car that she was bringing home from a friend’s house. Upon further inspection, Sartell found that the wine bottle was about a quarter of the way full with a “liquid that had the odor of an alcoholic beverage.”
I always enjoy the overly procedural language of police reports, but if I was a cop, I’d purposefully take it like ten steps too far.
“I then approached the vehicle, a silver Acura SUV, and observed deployed airbags, one female passenger, blonde, as well as two deployed female breasts, fully exposed with visible areola. Some nipple was visibly obscured by the aforementioned deployed airbags though I did later visibly confirm the presence of two full nipples.”
The student was taken to the hospital to have blood drawn, then booked in the Brazos County Jail and later released on a $2,000 bond.
I can’t imagine the freshman had a good time telling her parents about this, but hey, she’s young, maybe they were understanding.
“Now honey, I hope you learned a lesson from all this.”
“I did, dad. Don’t drink and drive…”
“Very good.”
“And wait until I get home to send boys nudes.”
“No, that’s not… fuck my life.”
Look on the bright side, in four years this will just be a funny story to tell your friends and the employers who Googled you.
[via The Houston Chronicle]
Pics or it didn’t happen
9 years ago at 5:31 pmWould you bang?
9 years ago at 9:19 amYes
9 years ago at 2:27 pmWife material
9 years ago at 5:32 pmShe’s way too fun to go to A&M
9 years ago at 5:39 pmWhere can I buy one?
9 years ago at 5:41 pmRussia
9 years ago at 11:56 pmA&M? Didn’t know sheep could take selfies.
9 years ago at 5:49 pmOf course a sheep driving a car is perfectly reasonable.
9 years ago at 5:49 pmThough apparently sheep can’t drive very well.
9 years ago at 5:56 pmYou almost lost it there. Good save
9 years ago at 7:23 pmSolid reporting folks more of this is what we need right now. Well this and Brawndo cuz it has electrolytes
9 years ago at 5:50 pmTake down fucking Grill Master
9 years ago at 5:52 pmWe really all just want an 18 year old that makes these types of decisions
9 years ago at 5:52 pmI want to remind every feminist that a jury full of men would never convict this chick.
9 years ago at 6:03 pmThis is my favorite comment of the day.
9 years ago at 6:35 pmI have an idea for you that’s worth a million internet dollars (I believe that exchanges to 3 rowdy gentleman tanks). Aggregate the best user comments of the week then post them on this website on Sunday. You could call it ” comments that don’t suck of the past 7 days.” Name might need a little work……..
9 years ago at 8:57 pmBring back comments of the week.
9 years ago at 9:54 pmDon’t hate the player, hate the username
9 years ago at 10:54 pmWho said irony was dead?
9 years ago at 2:11 amApparently you’re the only one that appreciates the irony, you’re a gentleman and a scholar
9 years ago at 9:09 pmGoing out on top I see
9 years ago at 8:16 pm