Is Nothing Sacred? 2016 Miss Bum Bum Competition Wracked With Scandal

Doctor Franzia8 years ago

This November marked a life-changing and vitally important election, affecting millions and shaping the future worldwide. However, the road to the decision was dark and divisive, leaving a sour taste in many observers’ mouths even before it was over. We wonder today if the rifts will ever truly heal. I’m talking, of course, about the 2016 Miss Bum Bum competition.

From the New York Post:

Divas Danny Morais and Karyn Alvyshave — also known as MC Sexy — have been accusing each other of cheating after voting closed last night.

Each accused the other of bribery as they bid for the coveted title.

Morais, from Rio, also claimed archrival Alvyshave had bottom implants that give her a bumpy, 46-inch booty.

The winner ended up being a completely different woman, named Erica Canela. Even though it’s 2016 and we can’t even decide which Brazilian butt is the prettiest without being ready to murder each other, it’s pretty obvious that Canela earned the W, because Sweet Jesus. Look at these pics. She’s also a medical student, which means she can bring your ass back to life when your heart stops after seeing that sweet caboose in the flesh for the first time. And if she specializes in plastic surgery, she can continue to self-inflate in a glorious feedback loop that just keeps pumping out dividends.

But back to the controversy: the title of Miss Bum Bum comes with a $22,000 prize and a cushy modeling contract, so it’s natural that some people would get a little too invested. That person seems to be Danny Morais, who was lobbing all kinds of shit about other contestants. Look, it’s one thing to accuse your rival of cheating on the internet, because hey, it’s called playing smarter not harder. But to insinuate illicit implants? Unthinkable. You don’t sully the purity of a set of pure, all-natural hams.

Come on, Brazilians. Do better.

[Via New York Post]

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