How One High School Playoff Touchdown Salvaged An Entire Program

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I’ll never forget my last high school football game.

And even if I somehow do forget about what went down that fateful night, Facebook’s “On This Day” feature will continue reminding everyone of it until long after I pass. All the angry posts on my wall and in my feed — the whole town was irate. It was like something out of a movie.

It was on this day five years ago that coach called us into that huddle. You see, we were a mediocre 6-6 squad that backed its way into the state playoffs after a nearby school had to forfeit the chance to compete because first quarter grades had just been posted and half the team was no longer eligible.

We had a real chance to make some noise in our first game against top-ranked Dover High — a team with more Division I commits than regular players. Dover High was a high school football powerhouse in our state. Meanwhile, our North High team was a consistent bunch of losing pussies, with more coaching staff turnover each season than graduating seniors. But this was playoff football, and anything can happen in playoff football. Like us going down six touchdowns in the first half, which happened. As the starting free safety, I can remember just a few of those perfect spirals flying over my head for a Dover High score.

The third quarter was all Dover High again. By this time, the game was well out of reach and they were pulling their starters to rest for the second round. Dover had a 49-point lead heading into the final 12 minutes of play.

At the break between the third and fourth quarter, Coach Wells called us over for a team meeting.

“I just spoke with their head ball coach,” he told us. “He said they have a special needs boy whose dream it is to score a touchdown for Dover High. He asked us to make this boy’s dream come true.”

Ahhh, coded language, I thought. “He asked” doesn’t equal “I said yes.”

In that moment of ambiguity, Coach Wells’ message could not have been more clear.

We hustled back onto the field for the start of fourth quarter action. The special needs boy, Allen, a good 5’8″, 230 pounds, trotted into the backfield — tennis shoes laced up and bifocals shielded behind his facemask. Dover huddled to call a play, but we all knew what was coming. Maybe in another world, Allen could pass as an offensive guard. But he had no business being in that backfield.

Dover hustled to the line. Usually a spread team, they were in the I-formation — with Allen at tailback. The quarterback took the snap and tossed it to the field side for Allen, who caught it in stride. Yeah, I saw this play coming.

One of the Dover offensive linemen didn’t even bother blocking — he just started cheering for Allen and pointing in the direction of the Dover end zone. Arrogant fucking prick.

Allen was more of power guy than a speed guy. He made a solid move up field, avoiding diving defensive linemen at his feet, and made it into the secondary. One of our cornerbacks, Charlie, dove about five yards in front of Allen as he came barreling my direction. The flash of a green jersey must have startled him, because as soon as Charlie hit the turf, Allen’s fingers slipped off the ball and it came rolling my direction — coming to a stop right at my feet.

There was no correct move here. I wasn’t going to hand the ball back to Allen — he had his chance. And even if I did do that, he would know something was up. He’s been around football too long to know that a defender never returns a fumble to the ball carrier.

I picked up that Spalding leather football on our own 18-yard line and started sprinting the other direction. Dover High players were in so much shock that when they finally came to, I had about a 15-yard advantage. I’ll never forget the sound of fans on both sides of the stadium booing as I headed into our end zone — except for one small section of drunk dads on our sideline going nuts high fiving.

My first career defensive touchdown. In the high school playoffs, no less. I watched as the scoreboard changed: Dover 49, North 6.

“You are one huge fucking asshole,” said one of the referees as I tossed him the football and headed to the bench.

I turned back to the other side of the field to see the entire Dover sideline rallying around Allen as if he was the one who had scored a touchdown. Meanwhile, on my sideline, I was a pariah.

Coach Wells, whose pre-play message seemed open for interpretation, was at midfield profusely apologizing to Dover’s head coach and athletics director.

“You’re done,” he shouted at me as he ran back to the sideline.

No, you’re done you stupid piece of shit, I thought to myself. Getting your ass kicked in here and already contemplating throwing in the towel.

We didn’t score again. Dover, however, put their starters back in after my touchdown and threw the ball downfield the rest of the game — using all of their timeouts in the process. The final score was 63-6.

But the story doesn’t end there.

You see, someone tipped off the state high school athletics association that neither Allen nor his parents had filled out any of the required paperwork prior to entering the game that night. On top of that, the association also found out that Allen was 19 — well over the cut-off age for high school athletics.

The state, regretfully, had no choice but to declare Dover High ineligible for the remainder of the playoffs. They were also forced to forfeit our playoff game — allowing North High to advance to the second round of the playoffs for the first time in more than 20 years.

We lost the following week to Matthews High, 77-9 — in part because I was suspended the rest of the playoffs. But it didn’t matter — we had already defeated the best team in the state. In my mind, there was no doubt who the real champion was that season: North High.

I’ll never forget my senior year of high school football. It truly was something special.

Image via YouTube

      1. Shut up Meg

        Can we get why your fraternity sucks back so we can figure out who the fuck bidded kramer and wally

        8 years ago at 6:46 pm
      1. ReardenSteel

        I’ve been itching to write the “how to effectively social climb as a mid-tier fraternity” Rush Guide for years, guaranteed to be incredibly racist, homophobic, sexist, misogynist, and generally offensive. TFM is fucking up by not taking me up on the offer.

        8 years ago at 1:23 am
  1. Rad_pitt

    I know this is 100% fabricated bullshit but Ive always thought something like this would be fucking hilarious to see in person

    8 years ago at 6:35 pm
  2. PillaryClinton

    Steve Holt is a Pulitzer prize winning author compared to the rest of you shmucks at TFM

    8 years ago at 6:50 pm
  3. ScoringGoalsGettingHoes

    The same kind of thing happened to me in soccer lol. My team was up 9-0 and my coach didn’t want us going into double digits because it’s soccer and that’s just unclassy. So it’s 9-0, I’m playing forward and one of my best friends, smiley, is on the wing he gets the ball and just plays in some shitty ass cross right to their keepers hands and I just follow it up bc that’s were taught to do but the shitty ass goalkeeper drops the ball and like falls over and the ball comes right to my feet 3 yards away from the goal line. So I just stand for a second and wonder what the hell to do, tap it in and make it 10-0 or look like a huge dickhead and turn around and pass it to my midfield or something showing we won’t even score more if they give us handouts; the other coach wanted us to play our hardest. So I decide I’ll just tap it in. I score to make it 10-0 and like my fourth of the game then my coach pulls me off and chews my fucking ear off for it and I start saying why and he pulls his typical dickhead shit and says there’s no buts you should’ve listened. He benched me the next 3 games because of that. When I read that article it reminded me of that lol.

    8 years ago at 10:51 pm
      1. ScoringGoalsGettingHoes

        Didn’t know you had to read it. Lol prob just salty bc you prob were a high school scrub in any sport you played

        8 years ago at 9:47 am
  4. Norman.Dale

    You guys ever notice Steve was the only one that didn’t get a name change when all the writers went to their real names?

    8 years ago at 12:48 am
    1. SantaFrat

      Every writer uses SteveHolt as their alias when they know the article might be ill-received or makes them look terrible

      8 years ago at 1:46 am