A Woman In Florida Is Making Bank By Selling Her Positive Pregnancy Tests

Boston Max9 years ago

Girls are crazy. No ifs, ands, or buts about that. It’s just an inalienable truth that we all hold to be self-evident, and yet time and time again I continue to underestimate just how crazy the fairer sex can be. And if you want an example, you needn’t look any further than this lady in Florida who’s paying for college by selling her positive pregnancy tests.

And no, I’m not calling her the crazy one. It’s her clientele who are the ones who are several flews over the cuckoo’s nest. This chick posting the ad for positive pregnancy tests is a certified genius, recognizing an unmet need in the crazy girl marketplace and capitalizing like the deal closer she is. It doesn’t say what college she’s attending, but suffice it to say it’s Deal Closer U. I mean, she even gives a few brilliant uses for her product right in the ad she posted on Craigslist.

From UPI:

A Florida woman said she is paying her way through college by selling her positive pregnancy tests and urine on Craigslist.

The ad on the Jacksonville-area Craigslist page offers “positive pregnancy tests or urine” in an “absolutely no questions asked type of deal.”

The woman, who is three months pregnant, is selling the positive tests or urine for $30 each, but the Craigslist post says customers traveling more than 60 miles can get two positive tests for $35.

The Craigslist post reads:

“Very self explanatory I am 3 months and I am providing a product in which the consumer is able to purchase positive pregnancy tests or urine for your own use. Whether you are using it for your own amusement such as a prank, or to blackmail the ceo of where ever who you are having an affair with I DONT CARE AT ALL this is an absolutely no questions asked type of deal tell me what you need I provide it for monetary exchange. I will not overcharge for the urine test but I will not be low balled either do not contact me if you are going to be cheap and difficult. Email me then I will exchange phone contact due to scammers I removed my number.
Feel free to contact when you need to i check my email every HR for those traveling over 60 miles I will give 2 tests for $35.00. Thank-you. :)”

It’s Florida, so I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked that there are enough looney tunes with a few lug nuts loose who are willing to drive 60 miles to pick up a positive pregnancy test to probably use as a last ditch effort to get back together with their boyfriends. Still, though, Florida (and women) just keep finding ways to utterly amaze me, and the fact that there are enough broads fit for a straight jacket to fund a college education one $30 positive pregnancy test at a time has me semi-shocked on this frigid Monday.

I just want all the Florida boyfriends and CEOs with some side piece who defies algebraic phenomena with the curves they create on the hot/crazy graph to be put on high alert: If you’re running around with some chick who’s fucked three ways toward the weekend and she comes at you with a positive pregnancy test, force her hand and make sure she takes a second test right in front of your face with a pregnancy test kit that you picked up yourself at Walgreens or CVS. Otherwise you’re susceptible to getting got..

[via UPI]

Image via Shutterstock