Y’all Gotta Stop Giving Yourselves Brain Damage To Impress Your Friends

Y’all gotta stop giving yourselves brain damage to impress your friends. You just have to stop. I’m all for the “do it for the story” mantra but not when the “it” means destroying your brain so everyone who isn’t you can enjoy the stunt. They get a cheap laugh. You get concussed. They win. You lose.

Our Instagram feed is absolutely littered with videos of guys willingly taking brutal head shots in many forms, oftentimes rendering them completely unconscious, just for a short video and a chance at their 15 minutes of internet fame.

Y’all gotta stop letting people hit you over the head with bottles.

Tag your friend who is too weak to break a bottle over anyone's head. #TFM

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Y’all gotta stop voluntarily taking punches to the face.

Night night. #TFM (From @cwebb99)

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Tag someone you want to do this to. #TFM

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Tag a friend who you want to do this to. Send your photos and videos to Instagram@totalfratmove.com

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Y’all gotta stop riding bicycles down stairs and falling face first.

Bad ideas. #TFM

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Ouch…

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

Y’all gotta stop running headfirst into walls.

Using your head. #TFM Send your photos and videos to Instagram@totalfratmove.com

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

This next one is seriously disturbing. This kid very literally attempts to hammer a nail into wood using his skull. Y’all gotta stop trying to hammer nails into wood using your skull.

Being a complete and total psycho. #TFM Send your photos and videos to Instagram@totalfratmove.com

A video posted by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

He hammered a nail with his face. Think about that. I mean really think about that. A hammer, the tool designed for such a task, is made of steel. Your face is made of flesh over bone. Imagine being a parent and that’s your son, the one who tried hammering a nail into wood using his skull.

“Oh hey, Gary. How’s the family doing?”

“You know, we’re all doing pretty well. Thanks for asking, Phil.”

“What about Scott? Is he doing well down there at State? He’s majoring in Finance, right?”

“Actually Scott is in the hospital right now.”

“Oh no, is he okay?! What happened?”

“He suffered major head trauma because he tried to hammer a nail into wood using his goddamn skull.”

“Oh fuck, Gary.”

“Yeah he’s retarded now. We’re so proud.”

  1. Burt Reynolds1776

    You most certainly are not the man Dillon! What did Casper ever do to you?

    8 years ago at 9:41 pm
  2. SingleT

    How many times has someone done this to you? I’m not sure you can count that high anymore

    8 years ago at 9:53 pm
  3. givesmedome

    Hey Dorno, never thought you would be writing for TFM again at 10pm. You should hire more content managers. Oh wait…

    8 years ago at 10:12 pm
      1. YasielPuig

        Jared said he’s Bacon is not working for them anymore. Not sure if he was let go or left on his own terms. Hope he found a great opportunity and was able to leave at a time that felt right to him.
        Seems like they want to concentrate on pushing the clothing brands and focus less on content, with a mix of articles coming from the offsite writers and Dorno/Jared

        8 years ago at 3:20 am
      2. Dillon Cheverere

        Content is still a huge focus of ours. Rob will actually be explaining himself pretty soon I believe.

        8 years ago at 9:37 am
  4. DornFromMajorLeague

    On a PGP podcast about a month ago, Dilldog (he’s no longer worthy of the Dorn moniker) said that TFM would be moving EVEN FURTHER from frat culture. Now Bacon is gone. Alienating your core demographic that made you successful in the first place is an interesting strategy. Who the fuck is piloting this Malaysian aircraft? Stevie Wonder?

    8 years ago at 12:55 am
    1. oldslappy

      Not even a million monkeys mashing type writers for eternity could produce garbage ideas of this tier

      8 years ago at 2:41 pm