Let’s Get Weird: March 31
8 years ago

Screen Shot 2017-03-31 at 12.53.29 PM

There may not be a LGW next Friday because I’ll be in Augusta for the greatest sporting event of all time and, well, I might not get around to posting it. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. BUT, if you are going to be in the area, and if you’re at least 21 years old, stop by the Natty Shack and say hello and drink cold Natty with Bolen and me. And Smylie Kaufman and a ton of other notables. It should be a blast, even if you’re not going inside the tourney.

The video will come out next week but I did a football long toss competition with Intern Craig and I absolutely humiliated him. He’s a college QB. I write for a lowbrow website. Think about it. There isn’t anyone in Austin who can out-throw me. I actually believe that, and I’m willing to accept worthy challengers.

Also I was called racist by multiple people this week for using the phrase “random black dudes,” so that was fun. I don’t quite get that one.

What do we have going on this weekend?

Great sounding flop. Score: 9.2

A post shared by TFM (@totalfratmove) on

  2. The_Chilis_Guy

    It’s international bro’s night out. Happens every year on March 31st, so half price appetizers at Chilis

    8 years ago at 3:10 pm
  3. DrGonzoTFM

    Hey Dorn, can we have another Ballocaust but this time blackball the idiots who actually deserve to get blackballed? Like hahaamiright, hgl_jmu, thevaginator, Gerald r ford, you know the people I’m talking about.

    8 years ago at 3:16 pm
    2. Fratty McFratFrat

      I wouldn’t lump Gerald Ford in with the others. There’s a difference between being malicious and just being stupid.

      8 years ago at 3:46 pm
      1. DrGonzoTFM

        That’s a good point. The “pardon” jokes got old really quickly but to his credit he’s not mean-spirited like the others.

        8 years ago at 3:49 pm
      4. InternationalFratStudent

        Quit trying so hard. We know you were a failed abortion and your barely passed 5th grade but for Christ sake honestly fight a damn train

        8 years ago at 2:32 am
      6. DrGonzoTFM

        Says the guy whining in the TFM comments section because he got his feelings hurt…

        8 years ago at 11:28 am
      8. CanadianB4C0N

        Won’t need to. Once the asshole’s gone you they won’t have any material. They’ll die off as is the circle of life.

        8 years ago at 1:51 am
      10. HGL_JMU

        Lol my feelings are far from hurt. You’re the only person here who’s protesting by peoples presence commenting. They’re fucking comments dude, are you at such a lack of life fulfillment that this really matters that much to you to? Give me a fuckin break hahah

        8 years ago at 1:39 pm
  4. BobMotherFuckingBarker

    Going to Opening Day for the mets on Monday. Got me thinking about my favorite sports moments that happened at games I was at. For me it was an early 2013 game. Matt Harvey was just budding into a superstar and was going up against Steven strausburg that night (back when he was still considered the next big thing). After absolutely dominating, sometime around the 6th inning, a chant of “HARVEY’S BETTER!” broke out throughout Citi Field. Shit was absolutely electric. As if that wasn’t enough, in the 7th inning it was announced that the Boston Marathon bomber had been caught (remember this was 2013). After that another chant broke out, for 5 minutes all you could hear in the right field bleachers was “USA! USA! USA!” Once in a lifetime experience

    8 years ago at 3:24 pm
    1. Bill_Waltonloves_LSD

      I’ve got 2. 1. being at the final game in 08 when mario chalmers hit the 3 to go to OT and beat rose and Cal. 2. being their when wisconsin but UK 2 years ago. the Wisconsin student section stayed 40 after the game dancing losing their minds

      8 years ago at 5:54 pm
    2. ZeteNJ

      This’ll be the first Opening Day at Citi I’m missing since the place opened. Just started a new job 2 weeks ago so I can’t take off. First Opening Day I’ll be at work ever in fact, I go always do the bar for years they start on the road. Very jealous of you, have a blast and hope Thor can start us right. I know it’s 1/162, but every win does count. LGM.

      8 years ago at 8:12 pm
      1. BobMotherFuckingBarker

        Gonna be a great year. I’ve talked myself into believing they’re gonna win the World Series, like I do every year, but I don’t think I’m all that delusional this year. Let’s fucking go

        8 years ago at 9:40 pm
      5. thevaginators dad

        How bout you sit this one out squirt. Wouldn’t want to get your feelings hurt you little puss.

        8 years ago at 6:05 pm
      8. thevaginators dad

        Swing and a miss there champ. And hurry up with my beer you little bitch

        8 years ago at 2:28 am
    3. The_Flying_Dutchman

      For me it has to be the 2015 MLB All Star Game. I’m a diehard Cincinnati Reds fan and being born in 95 means I haven’t got to experience some of the things that my father did growing up (Multiple rings; multiple MVPs). So the All Star Game being in Cincy was something I couldn’t pass up. Well that year the MLB approved the Reds request to honor Pete Rose before the game. Well they announced Pete’s name and what seemed like the entire city of Cincinnati broke out into a “Peeeete Roooose” chant. One of the coolest things I’ve got to experience as a Reds fan.

      8 years ago at 10:10 am
    4. CanadianB4C0N

      I was at a St Louis Blues game when it was announced that the bomber was caught. Couldn’t hear myself think for a solid 5 minutes.

      8 years ago at 12:29 am
    5. CanadianB4C0N

      Favorite sports moment: Game 6 of the 2011 World Series. Watching David Freese hit the walk off home run to extend the series.

      8 years ago at 12:31 am
      4. BobMotherFuckingBarker

        Ehh getting a job at the chive 10 years past it’s hayday isn’t exactly a step up. And we’re talking about leaving grandex here. Guy deserves better to be honest, was the best writer here for a long time.

        8 years ago at 7:09 pm
      1. Edgar_Allen_Bro24

        Dorno I’ve got a fairly average comment history with a few gems. I’ll put myself forward for the honor.

        8 years ago at 5:15 pm
      7. Fratty Couples PGA

        As another user with a few diamonds in the rough speckled within a generally mediocre body of work, I would support either of those decisions.

        8 years ago at 12:45 pm
      8. Fratty Couples PGA

        Wondering whether Dorn will even acknowledge Frabst as “Frabst” when we don’t say “The User Formerly Known as Frabst.”

        8 years ago at 4:13 pm
  8. Douglas MacArthur

    I thought this younger generation’s fascination with the log maker over the hog taker was more of a joke. Apparently it’s not after hearing my cousin and his pledge brothers tell me the weirdest stuff they walked in on at school. What’s wrong with you people?

    8 years ago at 4:53 pm
    1. Fratty Couples PGA

      I believe that when one person jokes about something and another person hears it, there can be a significant chance that the hearer takes it seriously and tries it. Or, on the other hand, your cousin and his friends might be exaggerating in order to get laughs.

      8 years ago at 12:52 pm
  9. Cartier

    If you could live in any city in the world, what is your first choice and why?

    8 years ago at 5:12 pm
  10. InternationalFratStudent

    What do you call a cross between an octopus and a black guy?

    8 years ago at 5:13 pm
  11. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    I’d out throw you. NFL ball as we have both used up our college eligibility

    Out drive you in golf too.

    8 years ago at 6:26 pm