When Tapping A Keg Goes Horribly, Hilariously Wrong
Kegs weren’t allowed at fraternity parties at my school, and for that reason an untapped keg has always been like an uncompromisable safe to me. I have no clue how to use that weird penis pump-looking contraption to access the nectar within those ribbed metal barrels, and I’m fine with that. My biggest fear has always been that someone will task me with tapping the keg at a party, I’ll fuck it up, a geyser of beer will start spraying out the top, and I, in a moment of panic, will attempt to terminate the impromptu beer shower by planting my anus firmly atop the beer hole, with the resulting alcohol enema simultaneously labeling me a Tennessee PIKE and causing my untimely demise.
And that relatively rational fear just refers to my fear of modern day kegs. Classic barrel kegs? With, like, wooden mallets and shit? No thanks. Every time I play a Whack-A-Mole game I wind up setting the machine’s new low score, so putting the pressure of an entire group of alcohol-thirsty people behind me would be crushingly anxietous. All my organs would fall out my ass before the beer even had a shot of getting up there. 100% I do something like this:
If you’re having problems with that embed, watch the video here.
The key in this situation? Having friends who will laugh their fucking asses off at you rather than getting mad. Surrounding yourself with people who want nothing more than for you to fuck up so they can laugh at you is the best way to build a solid support system.
Fraternities are weird like that..
[via Facebook/Brauerei & Gasthof Zwanzger]
Image via Facebook/Brauerei & Gasthof Zwanzger
BOTD clearly knows what her best asset is and I like that plays to her strengths
9 years ago at 10:43 amLike a woman that, damn y’all not giving us an edit button
9 years ago at 10:43 amShe has a winning formula and I’m ok with it
9 years ago at 11:43 amHer ass is amazing. Deff has its own gravitational force. 9/10
9 years ago at 12:18 pmhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w5criOSSUA
Her face looks like it was lit on fire and put out with a shotgun.
9 years ago at 4:16 pmThat’s what bags are for
9 years ago at 5:10 pmBOTB comment section:
9 years ago at 10:43 amD…. why can’t we get an edit button
9 years ago at 10:43 amBabe of the butt comment section is what I read.
9 years ago at 11:58 amIt’s accurate
9 years ago at 1:28 pmFreudian slip.
9 years ago at 1:50 pmI would store my nuts in the whore of the day’s butt for the winter months.
9 years ago at 10:46 amLet loose an audible “holy fuck” when the first picture loaded in class. Was not expecting that.
9 years ago at 10:57 amBabe of the day’s ass would be an ideal place off of which to inhale some fine Colombian.
9 years ago at 10:57 amBOTD seems to be that type of girl that says “I only date athletes”
9 years ago at 11:01 amAnd judging by her ass pics, she loves anal
9 years ago at 11:01 amAlso, I’d love to tap her keg hole
9 years ago at 11:10 amBoy do I love whores.
9 years ago at 11:07 amSo girls post pictures like this publicly and then get mad about our comments.
9 years ago at 12:55 pmThat’s female logic for ya.
9 years ago at 6:15 pmWhat sick twisted shit did her dad do to deserve a daughter like that ?
9 years ago at 1:27 pmAfter looking at the Keg Article – “So much white stuff everywhere!”
After looking at BOTD – “So much white stuff everywhere!”
9 years ago at 1:32 pm