Is This Naked Man On A Shark Jim McElwain Or What?

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A picture surfaced last week of a man laying on top of a large, presumably dead shark aboard a fishing boat. Is it a mako? Kind of looks like a mako. I’m not a marine biologist but I think it’s a mako.

The man in the photo is Caucasian, rather portly, naked as the day he was born, and bears a striking resemblance to University of Florida head football coach Jim McElwain.

Is this Jim McElwain? I don’t know if it’s Jim McElwain. I can only say it certainly looks like Jim McElwain. Whether it’s Jim McElwain or Jim McElwain’s fucked up doppelgänger is up for debate. And debate is exactly what people on the internet are doing. Many seem to think this is, undoubtedly, Jim McElwain.

We want answers. We need answers. The first answer we need is to the question, “Is this Jim McElwain?” If the answer is no, people will lose interest and move on. If the answer is yes, we’re going to have a lot more questions that need answers.

It’s not a good look to gleefully bareback a dead shark like this, especially for someone who represents a football program of student athletes, and one who represents a reputable university like UF. If this is Jim, what’s the fallout? It’s a really weird thing to do but is it worthy or termination? Fuck. I don’t know. It’s a hard sell when you sit down in the living room of a blue chip recruit and sell his family on your program when the kid’s mom is sitting on the couch thinking to herself, “Is this the guy who fucked that shark?”

My guess is this is not Jim McElwain, but I’m not too confident about it. I should also note that I’m a confirmed super recognizer (it’s a real thing – look it up), meaning I’m among the rare elite who are qualified to match this face up with Jim’s. But I simply can’t do it.

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    1. GirthBrooks

      I believe he said he was in Huntsville the other day. How he got on land and traveled up there is beyond me.

      8 years ago at 11:13 am
    2. GirthBrooks

      Getting a little worried about him. He hasn’t commented on this post yet.

      8 years ago at 1:08 pm
  1. 1_Rugey_Jentelman

    Eh. Just posing for size comparison. Naked? Why not fish naked? And it’s not like he’s plugging his pecker into a whale’s blowhole.

    8 years ago at 2:11 pm
  2. SharkWeekTFM

    Dorn seems to be pretty interested in sharks. At least more so since I showed up.

    8 years ago at 4:01 pm