U.S. Forest Service Claims Chico State PIKE Brutally Murdered 32 Innocent Trees

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The U.S. Forest Service Law Enforcement — which is apparently a real thing — filed a criminal complaint against Chico State PIKE for cutting down approximately 32 promising, young, vibrant trees in cold sap at the Deer Creek Trailhead camping grounds in Lassen National Forest. The complaint dates back to the weekend of April 21 when Forest Service officials claim PIKE was holding an initiation ceremony for pledges and also includes one accusation of firearm possession.

PIKE has released their own statement regarding the bizarre, alleged incident.

The Lambda Psi Chapter of the Pi Kappa Alpha International Fraternity denies the accusations of vandalism at a national forest. The Chapter has filed a police report regarding the individual making these claims. Additionally, we are cooperating with authorities in their investigation. We have concerns for the safety of our members after receiving threats against Chapter following this accusation and have notified the local police regarding these threats.

The fraternity and chapter president are scheduled to appear in court to defend themselves June 26.

Obviously, I’m not too familiar with the U.S. Forest Service, but if they’re anything like the Fish and Wildlife commission they are not a group to be fucked with. Get snagged catching one too many trout and those bastards won’t sleep until you’re on the verge of bankruptcy. If throwing an untagged doe into the back of your truck bed can run you the same price as raising an unwanted, cleft lipped orphan through his formative years, imagine the penalty for clearing out a respectable plot of land of all vegetation.

Wouldn’t surprise me if these tree people were the type to take the law into their own hands. Perhaps PIKE should be so lucky that this is going to a judge.

[via KRCR TV]

Image via Shutterstock

    1. thevaginator

      Actually the broad I fucked in vegas last weekend went there so I definitely know what that is junior.

      8 years ago at 11:09 pm
      1. TheeRockySulli

        You went to Vegas and fucked one girl? That’s like going to Costco to buy one can of beer

        8 years ago at 6:31 am
      2. thevaginators dad

        “I guarantee I get laid more than you but nice try little man.” – my son

        8 years ago at 10:02 am
  1. Henry_Eighth

    Raising an unwanted, cleft lipped orphan through his formative years. TdornM

    8 years ago at 5:01 pm
      1. Blowjob420

        How’d you find this out? I was hoping me and him would have a run in eventually.

        8 years ago at 7:49 pm
      2. Blowjob420

        I can make a trip down to USC. I grew up in CA but moved to FL for college. So I visit friends occasionally. Next time I’m there I’ll make sure to whoop your ass

        8 years ago at 10:03 pm
      3. thevaginator

        I don’t go to USC you dumb shit. Even if I did your bitch ass wouldn’t do shit

        8 years ago at 11:08 pm
      4. Blowjob420

        So why didn’t you deny that you go to USC to Sal and only deny you’re not in pike? Makes sense. Something tells me you’re a pussy who is scared of being called out

        8 years ago at 11:49 pm
      5. thevaginator

        Kid I will knock you the fuck out. Sit down before you get hurt. And no I’m not a Pike and don’t go to USC. Sal is just a pussy who thinks he knows shit. He thinks my name is fucking Marcelo

        8 years ago at 1:39 am
      6. Blowjob420

        First of all, don’t call me kid, fucking poser. 2nd, I don’t give a fuck what your name is or what fraternity you’re in but considering the fact you have lied several times about it makes me know you are a fucking pussy. I guarantee you I will lay you out. 100%. Better watch who the fuck you’re talking to

        8 years ago at 7:31 am
      7. Dickson

        You’re both the two biggest goobers on here, just pull a quick murder suicide and be done with it

        8 years ago at 8:42 am
      8. thevaginator

        Kid I will call you whatever the fuck I want to and you won’t do shit about it. Fucking puss

        8 years ago at 3:48 pm
      9. Sal Naturale

        Everything Marc says is a lie. He said he goes to UT-Knoxville, is an SAE, is a Kappa Sig. All lies. So if he says he does not go to USC, is not a Pike, it means he does go to USC and is a Pike.

        8 years ago at 10:24 am